EDMONTON – Overhearing a sportscaster mention that the Toronto Maple Leafs could be the only Canadian team to make the playoffs this year has sent local man Dave Kilmartin into a full blown rage...
Study: Self-isolation as close to retirement as millennials will ever get
TORONTO – A recent socio-economic study by the University of Toronto suggests that the COVID-19 pandemic has put many millennials in the most retirement home-like settings they will ever experie...
Rain streaming off mansions onto millennials’ heads cited as proof trickle-down effect works
TORONTO, ON ― Multi-property owners, real-estate agents, and proponents of supply-side economics are praising the GTA housing market’s trickle-down success, whereby any water not filling their in-grou...
Conservatives confident supporting a convoy of angry, far-right protestors descending on Capital won’t blow up in their faces this time
OTTAWA – As the “freedom convoy” rolls closer to Ottawa, Conservative MPs are increasingly voicing their support for the movement, confident that this time will be different. “...
Ford government to introduce self-serve hospital beds
QUEEN’S PARK – As Ontario hospitals find themselves ill-equipped and under-staffed to treat skyrocketing COVID numbers, Premier Doug Ford announced a new line of self-serve hospital beds to clea...
Unvaccinated truckers demand Canada’s government change US government’s rules on unvaccinated truckers
VANCOUVER – Hundreds of truckers took to the road to demand the reversal of the federal Canadian government’s US federal government’s decision to not allow unvaccinated truckers into the United ...
“Probs just urine,” says woman who sat in wet seat on bus
VANCOUVER, BC – On her commute to work, 30-year-old mother and elementary school teacher, Mya Diaz, sat in a wet seat on her B-Line bus, but reassured herself that the mysterious fluid was likel...
As Russia prepares to invade Ukraine, West rapidly deploys stockpile of vague condemnations
BRUSSELS – In light of Russia’s aggressive military buildup near the Ukrainian border, Western nations have ordered their stockpiles of vague condemnations to be placed at the highest read...
Ontario schools really hoping to score a coveted 100% on their PCR tests
ETOBICOKE, ON – As students head back to school across the province, Ontario is holding out hope for a coveted 100% on their symptomatic COVID-19 PCR tests. “Of all the province-wide standardize...
