Man too embarrassed to finally ask what COVID is
SASKATOON – 33-year-old Jackson Shepherd still doesn’t know what COVID is and is now way too embarrassed to ask about it. “When I got back from a camping trip last year everyone was talking about…
Leafs forfeit Game 7 to save everyone the trouble
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs have announced they will not play Game 7 against the Montreal Canadiens to save everyone the trouble. “I think we all know how this will end,” said Leafs C…
Ontarians thrilled case numbers down to level that would have terrified them in September
ONTARIO – With daily new cases of Covid-19 now consistently falling below 1200, Ontario citizens are celebrating despite the fact that these numbers would have had them peeing their pants b…
Here’s What Vaccine You Are Based on Your Zodiac Sign!
Vaccine season is finally here! Have you ever wondered which big pharma company made the perf vaccine for your astrological sign? We did hella research and here’s what we found out: Aries, Leo,…
Old computer has no idea it’s being used to shop for new computer
KAMLOOPS, BC – Trevor Adams’ 2010 Macbook Pro is completely oblivious to the fact that, despite years of loyal service, it is currently aiding Adams’ to find its replacement. “I do fe…
Liberals hold emergency session to teach MPs what cameras do
OTTAWA- After MP William Amos was caught with his pants down again in a public Zoom session, The Liberal Party has called an emergency session to show their caucus how cameras actually work as th…
Millennial woman horrified to learn she just wakes up early now
Dartmouth, NS – A millennial woman has been horrified to discover that she just wakes up early now, all on her own. Brittany Austin, 31, made the frightening discovery last weekend, when she atte…
Local man learned not to trust media when he realized Pingu wasn’t speaking French
Thunder Bay, ON – Local man Matt Rabbior advised that his life long distrust of the “media-industrial complex” began when he was 14 and realized that the children’s clayma…
Friends reunion mostly cast discussing how Frasier was better
LOS ANGELES, CA – The cast and crew of the highly anticipated Friends reunion special have admitted that the episode is primarily devoted to them talking about how Frasier was the vastly superior…
