Jen Reeves, Author at The Beaverton

Last shred of joy taxed 6.3% more

OTTAWA – The federal government has announced a new 6.3% tax on beer, wine, and all other alcoholic spirits that represent the last fragment of happiness in your otherwise pointless existen…


McDonald’s releases Big Mac Sauce-flavoured lube

Brantford, ON – McDonald’s just announced the release of its new Big Mac sauce-flavoured personal lubricant. Following the success of the Chicken Big Mac and Big Mac sauce dip, the fast-food gian…


BREAKING: Jesus seeks new brand management

GOLGOTHA – After a tumultuous, decades-long relationship with Evangelical Christians, Jesus H. Christ finally announced He is seeking bids for new brand management. The announcement arrived…