ATLANTA – One of the top officials at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warned on Tuesday that health experts foresee dangerous amounts of pent-up horny energy, with no opportu…
Ford applauds efficiency of press secretary/Sun columnist relationship
QUEEN’S PARK – Following the revelation of an undisclosed romantic relationship between OPC Director of Media Relations Ivana Yelich and Toronto Sun political columnist Brian Lilley, Premie…
Local man relieved COVID symptoms actually just depression
CALGARY, AB – After displaying numerous symptoms of COVID-19, local accounts manager Bryan Gramble has reported feeling a wave of relief upon discovering all of the symptoms were actually r…
Editorial: Woke cancel culture has gone too far and no, I don’t have any specific examples – by Rex Murphy
by Rex Murphy Well, the illiberal cultural warriors are at it again, imposing their dogmatic doctrines to cancel innocent citizens who don’t share their woke views, although no, I’m not currently…
WandaVision finale rumoured to finally bring Alf to Marvel Cinematic Universe
HOLLYWOOD – With the finale of the hit Disney+ series WandaVision dropping this Friday, sources online are buzzing about how the episode will finally introduce 80s television character Alf …
Long-term care facilities to drop “long” and “care” from name
BARRIE, ON – In the wake of soaring COVID-19 deaths of patients of long-term care facilities, industry leaders have announced they will remove the words “long” and “care” in order to clear …
John Tory finally captures arch nemesis – man who built shelters for homeless
TORONTO – Following years of cat-and-mouse rivalry and a pitched battle on the rooftop of City Hall, Mayor John Tory has finally brought to justice his arch rival – Khaleel Seivwright…
Jonathan Kay pretty sure cancel culture to blame for him using dog shampoo
TORONTO – After his tweet about mistakenly using dog shampoo for several months went viral, Canadian journalist Jonathan Kay has been hard at work explaining how exactly “the cancel culture…
Ford confident dead Ontarians would’ve been much happier seeing COVID funding used to balance his budget
QUEEN’S PARK – With Ontario sitting on $6.4 billion in unallocated pandemic-relief funds, more than any other province, Premier Doug Ford assured Ontarians that using those funds to balance…
Jason Kenney thanks Biden for giving him new thing to blame all of Alberta’s economic woes on
EDMONTON – Following incoming President Joe Biden’s decision to scrap approvals for the Keystone XL pipeline, Alberta Premier Jason Kenney called Biden to personally thank him for “basicall…
