Owen Sound, ON – Management of a local Coffee Time has asked that all staff pretend that the cobwebs currently coating stationary objects were put there for the Halloween season, as opposed…
Tag: Starbucks
Two-year pandemic officially longest relationship of woman’s life
Mississauga, ON – This week marks a major milestone in local woman Caitlyn Donahue’s life, as she celebrates two years of the COVID-19 pandemic – A.K.A. the longest relationship of her life. “I w…
Festivals on indefinite hold until deemed safe enough to have a 6’8’’ man block your view
GENEVA – Plans to allow music festivals to continue with their rescheduled dates have been put on indefinite hold by the World Health Organization until deemed safe enough to have a 6’8” ma…
Companies offer listening real good in lieu of enacting real change
NORTH AMERICA – In an attempt to show the public that they are in support of the Black Lives Matter movement, executives from companies across North America are promising to listen real har…
BlogTO real excited about that new Starbucks
TORONTO — Toronto’s online source for local culture, restaurant reviews and the best of the city is reportedly real excited about the new Starbucks opening up in Commerce Court. “Wow, this is coo…
Starbucks scrambles to launch new drink for impeachment season
SEATTLE – Executives at Starbucks Coffee Company are working overtime to create a new drink to herald in impeachment season for U.S. President Donald Trump. Following the news that Trump ac…
Canadians excited to buy Second Cup marijuana if there’s no Starbucks nearby
VANCOUVER — Following the news that Second Cup will convert some of its coffee shops to marijuana dispensaries, Canadians have resoundingly responded by asking if there’s a Starbucks dispen…
Government experimenting with universal basic as fuck income program
OTTAWA – Rolling-out a series of pilot projects across the nation, the federal government announced Friday that it is examining the effects of handing out free yoga pants, Starbucks cards, …
Tim Hortons heirs encourage minimum wage employees to inherit their own coffee chains
COBURG, ON — After cutting employee benefits and paid breaks, the heirs to the Tim Hortons fortune are encouraging their minimum wage employees to make up the lost earnings by inheriting mu…
Whitehorse grandfather from 2075 regales grandchildren about surviving with only 2 Starbucks locations
GREATER WHISTLE BEND AREA – An 88-year-old grandfather recounted another harrowing tale of survival when the fledgling Yukon capital only had a mere two Starbucks locations. “Back in my day…