BREAKING: Deep-fried-croissant bacon cheeseburger made by carney is bad for you
TORONTO – Following 12 cases of food poisoning linked to the “cronut burger,” the department of Public Health has shut down the Canadian National Exhibition stand and has warned customers t…
Everyone on camping trip thinks they know what poison ivy looks like
ALGONQUIN, ON – Last weekend, a group camping trip set out with all five members believing they had the ability to quickly and accurately identify poison ivy. “Poison ivy? Don’t even worry …
Georges Laraque: ‘I have to go out there and play a solid by-election’
MONTREAL – After announcing his run for federal public office, former NHL tough guy George Laraque is hoping his long hours of practice and hard work will pay off in the Montreal by-electio…
Ontario Teachers ban cell phones in the classroom
Ontario Teachers voted to ban cellphones in the classroom during their annual general meeting. All phones must now be turned off and stored during school hours. What’s your say? “Turned off? Real…
90-year old skydiver stays at home on birthday
HAMILTON – Having cheated death on 2674 skydiving attempts, 90-year old skydiver Jacqueline Dupray had no interest jumping out of a plane on her birthday. The regular skydiving instructor at Anci…
Memory foam mattress never lets local man forget
GREY COUNTY – Despite constantly trying to distract himself from what happened during that portentous night of November 17, 1996, Owen Sound resident Gabriel Tougas’ polyurethane matt…
Harper prorogues parliament to catch up on Breaking Bad, Mad Men
WHITEHORSE – Prime Minister Harper announced today that he will be proroguing Parliament until October so he can get up to speed with his favorite AMC television shows. “This has been a grueling …
Huma Abedin to join cast of ‘Real Housewives of New York’
The long-time Hillary Clinton aide and wife of disgraced congressman and New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner, Huma Abedin, has been tapped to join the cast of Bravo’s Real Housewives of New…
Man proud his Tamagotchi still alive and doing fine
Terrebonne, QC – A Terrebonne man is the proud owner of the oldest Tamagotchi in North America, having kept the toy alive since receiving the popular alien-egg computer game in 1996. Rene-C…
University of Ottawa‘s School of Government delayed with missing paperwork, long lines
OTTAWA – The University of Ottawa’s has been forced to delay the opening its faculty of governance studies due to the bureaucratic process. “Despite our foresight to build a national, non-p…
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