“If only someone had the power to make corporations behave better,” laments prime minister
TORONTO – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is deeply concerned about Bell Media firing 4800 workers, including hundreds of journalists, in their latest round of layoffs and wishes someone woul…
Singh not looking forward to voting for same old two parties in next election
OTTAWA – With partisan rhetoric between Trudeau’s Liberals and Poilievre’s Conservatives heating up in anticipation of a possible Federal election, many report feeling dismayed …
Putin pauses interview to ask if Carlson wants to go at least a little harder on him
MOSCOW – During a rare sit-down interview with Tucker Carlson, Russian President Vladimir Putin was repeatedly forced to pause the proceedings in order to encourage the ex-Fox News pundit t…
Bell cuts 4800 jobs to create more participants for next Bell Let’s Talk Day
TORONTO – Following the news that Bell Canada Enterprises Inc. is cutting over 4800 jobs, as well as shuttering many local newscasts and radio stations, Bell has assured Canadians the move …
Report: One in 20 people are sociopaths and all of them play music directly from their phone speakers in public settings
OTTAWA – In the wake of findings that have stunned the psychiatric community, researchers are now reporting that over one in 20 people are sociopaths, and that every single one of them play…
Waiter obligingly pours sample of restaurant’s cheapest wine
OAKVILLE, ON — Waiter Mark Graham shocked staff and patrons at local fusion seafood hotspot Gastropod over the weekend when he obligingly poured out a sample of the restaurant’s cheapest wine. “U…
Nova Scotians celebrate annual Why The Fuck Does Anyone Live Here Day
HALIFAX – Nova Scotians have found themselves in a celebratory mood today, as citizens celebrate their annual local custom, Why The Fuck Does Anyone Live Here Day, a tradition dating back t…
First shorts-wearing jogger of winter spotted
WINNIPEG – A shorts-clad jogger has been spotted running in the River Heights neighbourhood, a sight that all metropolitan Canadians know heralds the true beginning of winter. “He was so ma…
Totally normal guy recommends you watch new anime, “My step-sister is a mail-order bride”
Discord, Ontario – Your totally normal co-worker has once again recommended an animated series you’ve never heard of, this time it’s one called, “My step-sister is a mail-order bride.…
Republicans claim Taylor Swift part of vast liberal conspiracy to make Americans watch football
KANSAS CITY, KS – Across the United States conservative commentators have uncovered a plot by pop megastar Taylor Swift, along with her current boyfriend, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, to …
