Canada admits they knew Trudeau was a total Samantha all along
OTTAWA — Canadians across the country revealed Monday that, following a segment of CBS’ “60 Minutes” that identified actress Kim Cattrall, famous for her role as Samantha Jones in the hit T…
Controversy: PM snubs Vancouver Island Marmots in favour of panda cubs
TORONTO — Members of the media and the opposition criticized Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on Monday for snubbing a pair of endangered Vancouver Island marmots in favour of a photo opportun…
Proposed NWT ice road replacement made entirely of sunken tanker trucks
YELLOWKNIFE — The government of Northwest Territories have already laid the initial groundwork for replacing its ice roads with a long stretch of submerged tanker trucks. “This route needs …
Racist grandma bakes better cookies than non-racist grandma
SARNIA, ON – A study of all 4 Clarkson grandchildren has confirmed that the cookies baked by their sweet, kind grandmother Dorothy don’t even compare to those made by their mean, xeno…
Saskatchewan voyeur jerks off to wheat again
ALAMEDA, SK – Local voyeur Thomas Ristic has once again been forced to masturbate to completion while staring at the 50 acres of wheat that neighbour his property. “This was never my first …
Pamela Anderson calls upon loyal army of 1990s perverts to stop seal hunt
OTTAWA – Actress and former Playboy Playmate Pamela Anderson has called upon her legion of 1990s era perverts to help put an end to the annual Canadian seal hunt. “I am asking for all members of …
Brad Wall: ‘Don’t put a price on my precious carbon!’
VANCOUVER — Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall has begged other leaders to not put a price on his “sweet, precious carbon” at the First Ministers meeting yesterday. “Uranium is $40 a pound, pot…
Donald Trump starts feud with Donald Trump
NEW YORK – Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump has found himself embroiled in another feud, this time with Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump. “Who is he? Comes from a fa…
Discovery of meth lab shows excellent health of Whitehorse’s entrepreneurial economy
WHITEHORSE — A recent fire that revealed the presence of a meth lab in Yukon’s capital city demonstrates the willingness of small businesses to invest in the city, a local economist says. D…