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QUIZ: Are you a Cool Mom, Business Mom, Lame Mom or Infertile Aunt?

Being a modern mother is a lot of work and we often become a version of ourselves we never even knew possible! But what kind of mother are you? Maybe you’re not a mom and all. Maybe you’re an infertile aunt but you don’t even know it yet! This quiz will help you determine which kind of mother you are, or failing that, let you know that you are in fact an infertile aunt who has to come to terms with that reality.

1. When your kid asks to have a party you say…
Of course, as long as you’re drinking at our house, I know you’re safe
Ugh! Ask the nanny
Never! Partying will take away from your clarinet practice
Let’s get fucked up, I’m hip too, right?? RIGHT?!
2. Your period is...
Light, easy and inconsistent
Always inconvenient and spotty
Heavy and never late
Not applicable post hysterectomy
3. Your house is…
Hip as shit, kind of a mess but who cares- life is messy!
We have a cleaner come in twice a week, so it better be clean.
I do my best, please don’t judge me
My condo is a real fuck pad, you single?
4. Your best recipe is…
Take out Chinese
Take out Chinese
Take out Chinese
4 course Turkey dinner for 20 people every year
5. Your favourite cocktail is…
Cucumber Hennessy gin martini
2 fingers of whisky straight
White wine in 2 litre bottle
Whatever liquor is around in Brio
QUIZ: Are you a Cool Mom, Business Mom, Lame Mom or Infertile Aunt?
You are a Cool Mom!
Wow. Congrats! You’re a cool mom! You’re probably trendy and skinny. You are your kid’s best friend and their friends tell their Moms they wish they were you.
QUIZ: Are you a Cool Mom, Business Mom, Lame Mom or Infertile Aunt?
You are a Business Mom!
Wow. Congrats! You’re business mom! You are pressed and rich. You can send your kids to the best schools in the best clothes and you’ve managed to “do it all”. Unfortunately, you miss all their school plays and recitals, but you did pay to a have professional film crew there and you’ll watch that video eventually. Thing to watch out for: Dave’s after the Henderson account, don’t let feelings get in the way of that corporate ladder, it will love you forever.
QUIZ: Are you a Cool Mom, Business Mom, Lame Mom or Infertile Aunt?
You are a Lame Mom!
Wow! Congrats! You’re a lame Mom. You’re unwashed and in sweats, but always there with a packed lunch with your kids very specific dietary needs. You are always the parent chaperone on every field trip and in the front row at every event. Your kids got into all of their back-up universities early, and your catch phrase is “responsibility is cool”. Things to watch out for: you have completely forgotten it took sex to make a child, and you may be accidentally raising a wiener who can never find a woman who will love him like you… and you’ll like it.
QUIZ: Are you a Cool Mom, Business Mom, Lame Mom or Infertile Aunt?
You are an Infertile Aunt!
Wow! Congrats! You’re an Infertile Aunt. Not trying to criticize, but honestly, how did you not know this before? You’re good though. Trust us, you’re better off not having kids. It’s cruel to bring children into a world in steep decline. So, thank you for being you.
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