France successfully defeats fascism for first time
PARIS – Jubilant French citizens took to the streets this evening to celebrate their nation’s Presidential election results, which mark the first time their country has been able to prevent…
BC NDP desperately searching for some way to lose election
VANCOUVER – With only two days to go before the province votes, the British Columbia provincial NDP is frantically looking for some way, any way, to hand this election to the Liberals again…
Kathleen Wynne has to go, and that’s why I’m voting for—oh, oh no…
By Margaret Dyer Enough is enough. Kathleen Wynne’s Liberals have shown that are completely unable to run this province. I’m tired of incompetence, of cronyism, and of corporations coming first. …
Meet the car that won this year’s Kentucky Derby
Three year old “Mini Cooper S” narrowly winning this year’s Kentucky Derby. Organizers let the automobile in after they were baffled to find out there was no rule that said the …
Local couple calls off wedding after failing to come up with good hashtag
HAMILTON — Nicole Lucas and Adrian Todd have tearfully cancelled their intended nuptials after being unable to think of a good wedding hashtag. “I tried so hard to make it work,” sobbed Lucas, “W…
Bird stuck in airport unaware of ironic art it’s inspiring
TORONTO – A white-throated sparrow that had the misfortune of flying into the Toronto Pearson Airport has become the muse of many terrible artists within the terminal. “It’s like a metaphor…
Journalists should only become the news if they are white: Toronto Star Public Editor
BY: KATHY ENGLISH, TORONTO STAR PUBLIC EDITOR It has long been the policy of the Toronto Star that black journalists not take public stands on public issues or become the news. By exercising his …
Saskatchewan government replaces funeral services for poor with funeral catapult
REGINA – The Saskatchewan government’s budget cuts have eliminated funeral services for those unable to afford it, and will instead offer a free catapult service. Rather than cremation or b…
Hillary Clinton maintains composure during first run-in with America at cafe they used to go to together
WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to sources, Hillary Clinton reportedly came off well during a chance encounter with the United States of America in the cafe they used to frequent together. It …
House GOP excited to finally read new AHCA bill they just passed
WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Republicans told reporters this afternoon that they are excited to actually read the text of the American Health Care Act, which they just voted 217 – 212 to …
