According to every major news outlet in Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has appointed Richard Wagner – the classical composer – as the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Trudeau mad...
Pope Francis makes Taco Bell a sin after spending all morning in bathroom
VATICAN CITY- Officially recognized by the Catholic church as of this morning; the sale, consumption, or creation of any Taco Bell products will now be considered a mortal sin on par with murder and a...
Site C: BC NDP remind disappointed supporters they’re still committed to working with, flooding First Nations
VICTORIA – In attempt to ease some public disappointment in his decision to go forward with the Site C Dam, BC Premier John Horgan has said that his government is still committed to working with...
Trudeau returns from Asia trip with tattoo reading “terrible negotiator”
OTTAWA — Sources inside the PMO reveal that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been showing off a “cool new tattoo” he received during his economic trip in China, completely unaware that it actua...
Neighbours outraged by proposed two-storey building in downtown Toronto
An excerpt from The Beaverton Presents Glorious and/or Free: The True History of Canada. Available where books are sold. November 29th, 1834 TORONTO — Indignant citizens of the newly renamed Toronto w...
REPORT: More people make podcasts than listen to them
OTTAWA – The number of people producing podcasts is now far greater than the number of people who listen to them, according to a recent report. According to the report’s authors, this dire...
Toronto continues to win championships in not hockey
TORONTO – With the TFC winning its first MLS championship at BMO Field on Saturday evening, Toronto has continued its longtime tradition of winning championships in anything other than hockey. W...
REPORT: Experts worried Christmas not commercial enough
OTTAWA – With a worrying drop in retail sales and less than stellar spending growth, financial experts are beginning to worry that the fourth quarter holiday season purchasing period may not be ...
SQ shocked that they aren’t the worst police force in Quebec
MONTREAL – The Sûreté du Québec were taken by surprise when their director, Martin Prud’homme, was appointed as head of the Montreal police force to replace the suspended Chief Philippe Pichet, ...
Conservative Santa promises bad children will get coal, good ones bitumen
EDMONTON – In a rare public statement on Friday, Conservative Santa announced he would be replacing the traditional stocking stuffers of candy canes and mini-snickers with more family-friendly o...
