TAMPA BAY – Only six weeks after retiring from the NFL, Tom Brady has taken the air out of speculation on his future plans by announcing he will be joining the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for anot…
Canada ties for gold at winning bronze
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Quiz: Do you have Omicron? The answer is yes
Do you feel like you have Omicron, even though you have three vaccinations, no symptoms, and haven’t stepped outside your foyer barricade since 2020? Don’t be ridiculous, you definitely have it. …
BC Ferries launches new route to Kamloops
KAMLOOPS, BC – BC Ferries has announced a new service from Victoria to Kamloops, weaving through the newly established inlets and fjords. “We’re proud to be seizing the opportunities that c…
New Zoom filter adds pants, will to live
SAN JOSE, CA – Videoconferencing giant Zoom has announced a line of visual filters for the hot new market of customers who show up to meetings wondering what’s even the point anymore. The n…
Bell asks Canadians to stop talking
MONTREAL – Bell Media shocked the radio market Tuesday when it shuttered three of its sports-themed stations as part of an ongoing layoff streak, following their recent “Let’s Talk” mental …
Typo leads NASA to plan mission to Mark
HOUSTON – Following a copyediting oversight in NASA’s annual budget request, the U.S. government has approved financing for the space agency to conduct its first manned mission to Mark. The…
Biden wins election nine days after winning election
ATLANTA, GA – After final vote tallies from Arizona and Georgia, Joe Biden has won the U.S. presidential election only nine days after winning the U.S. presidential election. With a total o…
GOP proves existence of election fraud by committing election fraud
LOS ANGELES – The California Republican Party has announced “smoking gun” evidence of statewide election fraud, the existence of which has been a cornerstone of GOP efforts to delegitimize …
Trump holds another White House event to infect everyone he missed at last one
WASHINGTON – The White House has announced that President Donald Trump will be hosting an event on the South Lawn on Saturday, exactly two weeks after a dozen people were infected at Amy Ba…