The Rebelton: Muslim Attacks
Ernie Levenson really hoping for a terrorist attack to boost web traffic.…
Woman only had to go to space twice for man not to question her qualifications
OTTAWA – The soon-to-be Governor General only had to visit space twice to persuade local man Walter Alfons that she was selected for the honour based on merit. Alfons, who has questioned ne…
Guide To Ottawa
Thinking of visiting the city that keeps claiming it’s the capital of Canada?…
Julie Payette happy to start her seventh most exciting career
OTTAWA – Former Canadian astronaut Julie Payette has been selected to become the country’s next Governor General, making this her seventh most exciting career. The woman who has been on two…
Bored shark eats terrible surfer just because he’s there
Tofino, BC – Continuing a weekend-long binge, a local shark bored-ate a terrible surfer Monday morning. “I wasn’t hungry, to be honest,” the shark said as he bit open a bottle of pepto bism…
Quiz: Which Game of Thrones sex game are my parents playing in their bedroom right now?
It’s the middle of the night, and, recently, my parents have been trying to find some ways of spicing up their marriage. They’re both pretty obsessed with Game of Thrones, so, I guess they …
Toronto Public Library rents space to neo-Nazis after they promise to heil quietly
TORONTO – The Toronto Public Library took a stand yesterday by allowing a planned meeting of prominent neo-Nazis to go forward after the group promised to keep their heiling to a low whispe…
Quiz: Well, do you?
You’ve really done it this time, and I mean REALLY done it. Sources Angry boss with employee Shocked woman looking at laptop Angry man on the phone Stressed man sitting at desk Woman sitting at…
President elected due to email scandal being brought down by email scandal
Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles some of the country’s best comedians and writers to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts…
Millennial with six jobs killing it, dying
TORONTO – Local woman Jess Nguyen, 26, is currently making a considerable amount of money working six part-time jobs, while also slowly dying of fatigue and several untreated illnesses. “It…
