Japan green-lights "Gundam Seinfeld" as revenge for every shitty US anime remake - The Beaverton

Japan green-lights “Gundam Seinfeld” as revenge for every shitty US anime remake

TOKYO – Earlier today the nation of Japan formally vocalized its displeasure after years of seeing countless beloved anime features ruined by Hollywood produced live-action remakes, and stated that as an act of revenge they will be going forward with an anime battle-mech remake of the American sitcom Seinfeld.

“If they think they can Americanize our anime by taking all the emotion and culture out of our properties, then we have no choice but to respond by putting Jerry Seinfeld in a Gundam suit and have him fly around Tokyo to do battle with Newman Mail-zord,” stated creator Yoshiyuki Tomino.

With recent remakes of popular anime series like Ghost in the Shell, and Death Note being condensed into mediocre-at-best, live-action films, Japan has decided that the only way to stop this trend from continuing is to start sabotaging American series in the same way, putting North American fans through the same heartache and loss from seeing their favourite characters violated that anime fans felt.

“Yes I’m aware that Seinfeld was on the air for 9 seasons, and yes I’m aware that much of the charm and comedy comes from overarching character development and subtle recurring gags related to living in New York, but if that can’t all be captured in a 90 minute film where we change the protagonist’s nationality and remove years worth of backstory than was it really that good of a show in the first place!?” asked anime superfan Ryan Taran. “Yes sure, anyone interested in Seinfeld’s story could just watch the American version to see the original production that so many fell in love with, or, really, we could put him in a giant mecha-combat suit and tell his story our way.”

Upon learning of the announcement by J.J. Abrams to remake critically acclaimed Japanese anime “Kimi No Na Wa” (also known as “Your Name”) into a live action remake, less than 15 months after the original release, an unnamed anime studio executive is reported as saying “Fuck it, we’re turning the characters of Breaking Bad into Pokemon trainers and making them battle meth monsters on the actual fucking moon!”

At press time, the pilot episode of Gundam Seinfeld will reportedly feature Kramer having gathered all seven babkas during the Festivus slaughter to wish for his true love, Elaine, and his monkey companion, George, to be returned from the afterlife in order to rescue Jerry from the dreaded Man-Hands mutant army.

Images via NBC/Sunrise
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