Local toddler couldn’t give a shit how many times parents saved his life today
OAKVILLE, ON – Leaping off the armrest of a recliner and just barely being caught by his mother mid-air, inches away from making impact with the hardwood floor, local two-year-old Ben Marte…
Expos fans hopeful MLB will take asylum seekers as proof Montreal can fill Big O
MONTREAL — A group of dedicated Expos fans sent a letter to the MLB, Wednesday, offering the hundreds of asylum seekers taking refuge in the Olympic Stadium as proof of the stadium’s abilit…
Sadly, today’s college students won’t let me exercise my free speech just because this is a silent reading room in a library
By Adam Carolla Nobody else is saying it, so I’m going to—today’s college students are spoiled. By allowing them to cower in “safe spaces” and “quiet study zones” and “single occupant washrooms”,…
Canadian media promise to start covering NDP leadership as soon as Kellie Leitch runs for NDP leader
Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles some of the country’s best comedians and writers to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts…
Wow! This YouTube celeb makes 50k a month doing pretty bad makeup tutorials
Incredible. YouTube personality Jordan Peterson makes over 50 thousand dollars every month, even though his makeup tutorials are, by most accounts, not super great. “Jordan Peterson is the only Y…
Trump dreading performance review with Putin after signing Russia sanctions
WASHINGTON DC — After signing a bill aimed at punishing Russia for meddling in the 2016 election, President Donald Trump is reportedly “not looking forward” to an upcoming performance revie…
NRA unveils new line of guns designed to appeal to gay community
“We’ve always supported gay rights. Specifically the gay right to bear arms.”…
Aides look on aghast as Donald Trump stares directly at the sun for thirty minutes
STERLING, VA – The forty-fifth president of the United States spent thirty minutes staring directly into the sun today on the putting green of the eighth hole of the Trump National Golf Clu…
Quiz: Is your partner playing Words with Friends or are they having a torrid affair?
In this fast paced plugged in world we spend more time looking down at our phones then looking up at the people around us, even our partners. With someone’s head buried in their phone, thei…
CBC announces all 36 million Canadians are the hosts of The National
TORONTO – Striking a delicate balance of ensuring no person feels left out, Canada’s public broadcaster has announced that the entire population of the country will now host the flagship ne…
