OTTAWA – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has released a new, stern motto: “You’re going to sit there and like Canada or I’m turning this car around!”
The Conservative Party captured Scheer’s quote while the leader was on a tirade about those who denigrate Canada.
“If you’re going to keep kicking your seat while criticizing Canada for its treatment of indigenous people and immigrants, you’re going to get out and walk!” yelled Scheer to no one in particular. “Don’t make me come back there, because I will!”
Party insiders say that Scheer’s paternal lecturing from what he perceives to be a driver’s seat really resonates with its base of angry fathers who think their children should just shut up and be thankful already.
“Would you prefer to live somewhere else like the Middle East? Then stop complaining of how you can’t find a job! Be fortunate that you can even vote for your leaders because you can’t in so many other countries.”
Scheer further scolded what many presume to be the nation for not appreciating the sacrifices made by Canadian soldiers, and that they should just grow up already.
“I’m going to count to ten and if you haven’t stopped criticizing your country for selling arms to Saudi Arabia, you’re in big trouble. BIG TROUBLE!”
