If elected Prime Minister, Kevin O’Leary vows to visit Canada at least 4 times per year
BOSTON — Conservative party leader hopeful and Bostonian Kevin O’Leary says that if elected Prime Minister, he promises to come back to Canada at least 4 times a year. “I hope to get more i…
Sidney Crosby now training for luge
NEW YORK – After Monday’s announcement that the NHL would not be sending players to Pyeongchang for the next Olympic games, Sidney Crosby immediately began training for Canada’s national lu…
Downtown Toronto condo engulfed in flames sells for $1.2 million
TORONTO – Fire crews continue to battle a three alarm blaze which engulfed a downtown Toronto condo shortly before being sold for $1.2 million. The recently gutted condo boasts entirely exp…
How will Justin Trudeau handle the wave of refugees coming to Canada from the lost city of Atlantis?
BV+ takes a look at the devastating Atlantean refugee crisis.…
Newlyweds spend evening carefully cropping squalor out of Caribbean honeymoon photos
Banff, AB – After popping open a bottle of red wine and updating to the newest version of Photoshop, newlyweds Karen and Derek Miles spent a romantic evening carefully removing any trace of…
New immigrants fitting into Canada better than local man’s dumbass neighbour
MEDICINE HAT, AB – Local man Cameron Ruble has come out in favour of a more inclusive immigration policy, as the newcomers appear to be fitting into his community better than his dumbass ne…
What if Alex Jones was rational?
We bring you: BeaverWars.…
Judge rules drunken proclamations of love are legally binding marriages
HALIFAX, NS – A Halifax judge has ruled that drunken proclamations of love constitute legal marriages. “Clearly, a drunk can consent to marriage,” reads the decision in the case of a young …
High school prom committee just trying not to be racist this year
Kitchener, ON – While most prom committees spend the bulk of their budget on venues, decorations, and catering, this year’s committee at Henry Dow Secondary School is putting 90% of its mon…
Toronto couple find affordable one bedroom, full bath, one rat king apartment
TORONTO – A local couple are elated to have just signed the lease for a new apartment; a cozy one bedroom for $2000, with a full bathroom, a washer and dryer in the unit, and just one horde…
