KELOWNA, BC – An empanelled jury hearing the murder trial of Dr. Kenneth Pritchard has expressed bitter disappointment after hearing that the defendant was accused of killing his victim with a du…
Court
Trump wins 100% of the vote in guilty verdict
NEW YORK CITY, NY – Former US President Donald Trump has won 100% of the vote in his hush money trial as a jury reached the unanimous verdict of guilty on all 34 charges. Trump has been con…
Malfunctioning embryo freezer charged with mass murder
HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA – Due to recent changes in Alabama state legislation, a malfunctioning embryo freezer has been charged with mass murder. The accused cryopreservation appliance recently …
Cosby conviction overturned after court rules that at least 1000 more women needed to have come forward
PENNSYLVANIA — Despite being credibly accused of sexual assault by sixty women and serving just under three years of a possible 10 year sentence, Bill Cosby was released from prison today a…
Weinstein threatens to sexually assault courthouse unless ending scene of his trial is re-written
NEW YORK – After being found guilty of rape and sexual assault in a landmark verdict today, disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein immediately begin attempting to sexually coerce the courthouse…
Woman successfully beats murder rap using “Mercury in retrograde” defence
TORONTO – In a landmark ruling yesterday, 31-year-old Robin Whitewood was declared not guilty of the first-degree murder of her roommate Sharon after her lawyer successfully argued that Whitewood…
Millions of Americans line up to give Ruth Bader Ginsburg one of their ribs
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Millions of Americans across the country swarmed their local hospitals Thursday, offering up their ribs to Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The long-serving Supreme Court Justice fra…
Murderess insists on being called “murderer” like her male counterparts
KINGSTON, ON – After prosecutors at her trial repeatedly referred to her as ‘murderess,’ Kaitlyn Hayworth, 27, Tuesday abruptly confessed, “I’m a murderer! Murderer! Get it right!” mid-tria…
Mistrial declared after judge found to be three children in judicial gown
WINDSOR, ON – An Ontario courtroom was thrown into turmoil today after it was discovered that the presiding judge was in fact three children hiding under a judicial gown. The children, aged…
Accused serial surrealist pleads “rhinoceros”
OTTAWA – A man accused of eighteen counts of criminal absurdity and surrealistic acts, entered a plea in federal court yesterday claiming that he is “rhinoceros” of all charges. Alejandro R…
