Doug Ford to save Ontario 6 billion dollars by taking his own family off OHIP

TORONTO – After promising to cut the province’s spending by six billion dollars, Doug Ford has finally revealed a surefire way to come up with the money: remove health-insurance coverage fr…

New employee has audacity to begin email with “hey man”

VULCAN, AB – Opening his work email in the morning, Henry Abraham, CEO of HAB Insurance, a local brokerage firm, was disturbed to read the words “hey man” Thursday in the opening line sent …

Air Marshal hoping this is the flight he’ll finally get to shoot someone

DALLAS – After almost a decade of service and thousands of flights Air Marshal Dereck Jakes is hoping this latest flight will be the one where he finally gets to become a hero by shooting a…

Provincial boundaries renamed ‘Canada-US border’ to make it easier for Canadians to transport liquor

OTTAWA – After Canada’s highest court reaffirmed the rights of provinces to impose fines and confiscate liquor that crosses provincial boundaries, the federal government will rename all pro…

PEI threatens to cut off New Brunswick’s potato shipments unless they approve new potato pipeline

CHARLOTTETOWN – Provincial tensions are high after PEI Premier Wade MacLauchlan said he intends on reducing potato shipments to the province of New Brunswick unless Premier Brian Gallant ap…

Doug Ford vows to fire entire board of Hydro One if elected to board of Hydro One

TORONTO – Ontario PC leader Doug Ford has vowed to fire the CEO and board of Hydro One, once he wins the Hydro One board of directors election he assumes is happening soon. “It has been bro…

Cash prizes for Chase the Ace lottery replaced with access to a family doctor

INVERNESS, NS – A popular lottery game with roots in Cape Breton has swapped its cash jackpots with something that’s more prized in Atlantic Canada; access to a rural family doctor. Partici…

Paying it back: When this paramedic saves someone’s life, he visits them months later to collect on his life-debt

There are few jobs as challenging as being an emergency medical technician. Low pay, long hours, dangerous situations; it takes a certain dedication to help people like that. And for one man in p…

Leather-clad Alberta Marauders threaten to storm BC unless they approve pipeline within 24 hours

VICTORIA – A motley crew of Alberta pipeline crusaders is threatening a full scale war with British Columbia unless they promptly approve safe passage for their precious diluted bitumen. Th…

Ice storm saves conversation with local dad

TORONTO – A brutal late-season ice storm swept through Ontario this weekend, just in time to improve local son James Cougan’s phone conversation with his father. “The storm was pretty nasty, but …