The Beaverton

As part of negotiations with Trump, Carney agrees to celebrate Canada Day on July 4th

photo of a smiling older woman looking at the camera with an insert in the top left corner of the A&W Guy, holding a hamburger

The A&W Guy is dating your mom and you’re surprisingly okay with it

Report: as long as this is the one ceasefire in a thousand that Israel doesn’t break, everything will be fine

Liberals promise anti-democratic components of Bill C-5 will be used sparingly as long as Conservatives never get in power again

Florida, Calgary win Stanley Cup Final

A man sitting on a couch has his t-shirt rolled up to expose his belly, which he pointing at with a happy expression

Dad raises shirt a bit to air out belly, rub it

History buff not old enough to have lived through any meaningful history

OTTAWA – Young history fanatic Eric Guzan spent yet another day bemoaning the fact that he was not conceived at a more exciting and meaningful point in history. “Everyone knows that the pre…

Bike thieves demand separate bike-thief lanes

KAMLOOPS, BC – A group of bicycle thieves are petitioning the local government to construct more protected routes for those who regularly steal bikes. The group of small-time criminals say …

Pervy breeze caught blowing up dozens of skirts

SYDNEY N.S. – Footage has emerged on social media revealing a nefarious breeze reaching up the clothing of dozens of different people to tickle or caress their bare skin without consent. A …

Studio pulls Mission: Impossible – Fallout from theatres after realizing it has the same female character as the last one

LOS ANGELES – Paramount Pictures is pulling the latest Mission: Impossible sequel from theatres and promising refunds for advanced ticket sales after concluding it was antithetical to the s…