Third year McGill student hopes to visit Montreal someday
MONTREAL — At a barbecue last Sunday, third-year McGill student Katie Chang mentioned, to the shock of her friends and family, that she would “love to visit Montreal someday.” The commerce …
Man with summer cold convinced this is the most any person has suffered
SHERBROOKE, QC – Twenty-seven-year-old Jason Brossard concluded earlier today, without any sense of irony or exaggeration, that the fact that he contracted the common cold out of season is …
Trump proposes merit based immigration system rating potential citizens from “1” to “fuckable”
WASHINGTON, D.C – The Trump Administration has proposed a new merit-based immigration system that will award points to applicants. The system is modelled off the merit based systems used in…
Ford refuses to answer question abouCLAP CLAP CLAP WOO CLAP CLAP YEAH CLAP
QUEENS PARK – At a press conference this afternoon, Ontario Premier Doug continued what many reporters see as a worrying trend when he refused to field a question abouCLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP, WO…
Once I only have to pay a dollar for my beer, my life is sure to turn around in a big, big way!
By: Stan Hendricks For those of you Lib-tards who worried that Doug Ford lacked a clear platform to improve the lives of ordinary Ontarians, I present to you Exhibit “A” in the trial of Elites v.…
Doug Ford calls down flood to punish Toronto for its insolence
TORONTO, ON – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is claiming responsibility for torrential rains that Tuesday night, saying he summoned the chaotic weather event to “punish Toronto residents f…
Which cult do I need to join to get a fashionable linen matching set?
By Janine Suarez Listen, I feel like I need to say this right off the top, I do NOT condone the mass suicides that most prominent cults are known for, however I do admire how dedicated they were …
Saudi Arabia sanctions Canada from its lucrative flogging industries
RIYAHD – In yet another blow to Canadian international trade, Saudi Arabia said the Canadian government will no longer be able to access the country’s profitable corporal punishment industr…
Travel blogger posts photos of staycation spent lying in own filth
TORONTO – Popular travel blogger Anderson Patrick Cole has decided to document his most exhilarating adventure yet: a three-week staycation at home, spent lying in his own filth. “I have be…
Canadian television producing yet another period drama in order to recycle costumes from other period dramas
HALIFAX, NS – After decades of riveting Canadian period dramas lulling the nation to sleep, network television has decided to produce yet another historical Canadian television show in orde…
