Judge grants bail to Huawei exec under condition she be tracked like a Canadian using Google
VANCOUVER – A judge has granted Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou bail under the condition that she turns on her phone’s track location setting where she will be carefully followed like an ordinary, …
Preview: ‘The Beaverton Ruins Your Holidays Special’ December 20 On CTV
Get into the holiday spirit, by having it ruined.…
Mobile phone game allows users to purchase ability to win
MONTREAL – Mobile game development house Kyoho Games has announced that their new free downloadable release – Block Exploder – allows players the option to pay a small premium f…
The Beaverton finally given hour-long CTV special to take on its greatest foe: Christmas
TORONTO – After years spent taking on lesser enemies like the media and the concept of telling the truth, Canada’s satirical news empire The Beaverton has finally convinced CTV to give it one hou…
In return for Moai, Easter Islanders take Westminster Abbey for the next 150 years
EASTER ISLAND – After demanding the return of a culturally significant basalt statue that was stolen from their land 150 years ago, the Rapa Nui peoples of Easter Island have taken one of G…
Local man finds creeping fascism much easier to ignore than he expected
NEW YORK — Despite living in an age of xenophobia, attacks on the free press and political corruption, office manager David Newton is finding that fascism is much easier to ignore than he previou…
Toronto Police ask black community to apologize for making them look so bad
TORONTO – Following a widely publicized report from the Ontario Human Rights Commission that reveals black people are 20 times more likely to be shot and killed by Toronto Police than white…
BC business leaders worry new climate plan does too much of not enough
VANCOUVER – The BC business community is cautioning that the BC government has put forth a climate plan that doesn’t go nearly far enough to address the catastrophic threat of global warmin…
Old Man McGillicutty found not guilty after evidence from talking dog ruled inadmissible
Coolsville – Jeremiah McGillicutty, known locally as Old Man McGillicutty, has been found not guilty of fraud, public nuisance and conspiracy after a judge ruled that testimony from a talki…
As winter arrives, nation prepares to get so fucking cozy
OTTAWA – With the winter months here, Canadians across the country are making preparations to get so cozy, you don’t even know. “Oh man, I’m going to make winter my bitch this year,” said Calgary…
