Pride Toronto willing to do anything to get gay icon Doug Ford to join parade
TORONTO – Following an announcement by Ontario’s sickeningly fabulous Premier Doug Ford that he would only march in Pride Toronto’s annual parade if police are also allowed to m…
Hate group sticking with stupid name “Proud Boys”
NEW YORK CITY – Despite mounting pressure from other hate groups, the self described, ”pro-Western fraternal organization,” Proud Boys, will be sticking with that incredibly stupid name. “A…
Royals fuck
LONDON, UK – Following much speculation about the bedroom activities of royal family members Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the couple’s Kensington Palace office recently confirmed that th…
Marijuana-sniffing dogs reassigned to Canada civil service
OTTAWA — With Canada’s upcoming legalization of marijuana, the Federal Government has reassigned dozens of former cannabis-sniffing dogs to work in various other ministries and departments.…
Toronto Sun offers weekly column to arsonist who targeted refugee hotel
TORONTO — Following an attempted arson at the Radisson Toronto, which appeared to be inspired in part by Toronto Sun columns regarding refugees staying in the hotel, the Sun has offered a w…
Please keep paying attention to me
By: Stephen Harper, former Prime Minister of Canada You likely heard some news stories about me recently. You might have heard that I think Canada’s pandemic spending is overkill. Or that I…
Study finds old people who claim they have no regrets actually have lots of regrets
KAMLOOPS, BC – A study by the Canadian Institute of Geriatrics has discovered a direct correlation between people who claim they lived a life without regrets and people who actually have a …
Local woman fears she’s become a secondary character in a horror movie
VANCOUVER – Penelope Fagan doesn’t know exactly when she became a supporting character in a horror movie but she’s certain that’s what’s happening to her. “It all started when my friend Bet…
India cracks down on CRA scams after Canada threatens to send PM back for another official visit
DELHI – Authorities in India have arrested dozens in relation to CRA phone scams after Canada threatened to return Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to the country for another official visit. G…
30-year old woman drinking water at bar wants you to know she’s not pregnant
CALGARY -—During a friend’s birthday party at O’Malley’s bar, 30-year-old, recently married marketing consultant Annie Pierre has reportedly assured upwards of 12 attendees that, despite her refu…
