Gym TV closed captioning delayed by an hour
PORT ALBERNI, BC – Members of the Alberni Valley Community Center have been in a state of overwhelmed confusion by the hour delay of their gym TV closed captioning. “We are trying our…
Activist begins Tinder date with land acknowledgement
TORONTO – Upon seeing one another in-person for the first time at local dive bar Scrungie’s, internet activist Dillon Sanders introduced himself to his date Rebecca Holder by way of a cerem…
Thirst trap liked by relatives
STEINBACH, MB – After posting a sexually alluring photo to his Instagram account in hopes of gaining the attention of his peers, 24 year old Peter Goertzen was disappointed to discover that…
Yukon’s first mosque opens, CBC immediately greenlights tv series
SUDBURY – A month after Yukon’s first mosque opened its doors, CBC announced today that production has begun on a series focusing on the mosque and the quirky residents of the surrounding area. S…
U.S. Tourist Crossing Canadian Border Prepared For 50° Temperature Drop
You have to be Canadian to get it. Presented by .CA domains. Choose Canada, Choose .CA…
Child learns the true meaning of Halloween: always accept candy from strangers
Red Deer, AB- Moira Rohan, 7 years old, learned the true meaning of Halloween, that if an adult offers you candy or other sweet treats you should eagerly accept, especially if they are wearing a …
Angry middle-aged white guy this year’s scariest Halloween costume
LOS ANGELES – Beating out more traditional horror villains, trend-spotters have declared “angry middle-aged white guy” this year’s scariest Halloween costume. Perennial icons of terror like…
New CBC article ranks top 5 murderous dictatorships that can help grow your RSP
Luke and the Panel (Dave Atkinson, Aaron Hagey-MacKay and Andrew Ivimey) refuse to let the news get them down. They talk Trump’s influence over the mail bomber (2:30) and the Pittsburgh synagogue…
Shirtless boy going out on Halloween as Justin Trudeau
PORT COQUITLAM, B.C. – Wanting to emulate his favourite feminist superhero, a local boy has spent several seconds preparing his costume as the Right Honourable Justin Trudeau by taking off…
The disturbing backstory of this grown ass man’s Minions costume
MONTREAL, QC — As he slid his denim overalls over his bright yellow sweater while dancing to Q Lazzarus’s “Goodbye Horses,” Lain McNeal whispered to himself, “Would you fuck me? I would fuck me.”…
