29 things you didn’t know about Andrew Scheer and will NOT enjoy learning
Every person in the world has a lot of interesting things about them that you do not know but would love learning, and for a high-powered politician with a history in national politics, even more…
Alabama outlaws having an unoccupied uterus
MONTGOMERY, AL – In a contentious vote of 25 to 6, the legislature of the state of Alabama has passed a comprehensive bill making it a crime for anyone residing in the state to have an empt…
Report: Saskatchewan man somehow more upset with neighbour flying Blue Bombers flag than other neighbour flying Nazi flag
KELLIHER, SK – A local man has demanded that someone should tear down and burn his neighbour’s Winnipeg Blue Bombers flag while ignoring his other neighbour’s flagrant display of hate and r…
Singh: “I have never always not not not not not not not supported LNG fracking”
OTTAWA – NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh claimed that he has always never maybe supported fracking and the BC LNG pipeline. “We have always never not not not not not,” he said, before pausin…
“I couldn’t imagine life without my kids,” says man who looks like complete shit
REGINA – Local man Edward Thompson has told friends, family and several strangers at a Starbucks that life is meaningless without kids, all while looking like an exhausted drug addict who i…
Smiths Falls resident chasing big city dreams in Brockville
BROCKVILLE, ON – A bright-eyed 22-year-old has left his hometown of Smiths Falls to pursue his passions in the mega city of Brockville. Daryll Faber, an aspiring industry labourer has set h…
Film Review: Detective Pikachu glamorizes Pokémon-on-Pokémon violence
Detective Pikachu plunges audiences into the urban fantasy of Ryme City, a metropolis populated with humans and Pokémon “coexisting peacefully,” as long as the Pokémon serve us as bartenders and …
“Aspartame is bad for you,” says friend who just snorted gigantic line of ketamine
MONTREAL – Moments after doing a line of ketamine last night, Holden Morrisey, 23, revealed to an astonished crowd of warehouse partygoers that the can of Diet Coke his friend was holding would l…
Breaking: Tall woman recognized for something other than being tall
CALGARY — In a historic moment for tall women everywhere, Susan Kettleman was recognized for something outside of her height earlier today. “I assumed I was being asked into my boss’s…
Man carefully proofreads dick pic before sending
VANCOUVER – Sources outside the Roxy nightclub report that 22-year old Cody Parsons has finally sent a carefully composed and meticulously curated image of his semi-erect penis to a woman h…
