PHILADELPHIA – Joe Biden’s presidential campaign made the unprecedented move today of pleading with his supporters to stop bringing children to any event attended by the former vice president and current Democratic front-runner to prevent him from speaking to them.
“Due to several incidents over the last few weeks and also his entire lifetime, we are respectfully asking everyone who wants Joe Biden to become the 46th President of the United States to NOT allow him near any minor children,” Biden’s campaign said in an email to all his supporters. “If, for the sake of our children, we want Joe Biden to be president, we cannot let him be around them anymore.”
The campaign has acknowledged that Biden’s commitment in April to be more mindful of personal space and current social mores in response to criticisms of his interactions with women and children has not worked out and the 76-year-old now has to be protected from the consequences of any future interactions with these demographics.
“Joe Biden comes from a different time, when it was appropriate and indeed preferable for adult men to comment on the attractiveness of little girls and to tell young boys to police their underage sisters’ sexuality. Sadly, this isn’t the world we live in anymore, and the man we hope will soon be leading this new world he doesn’t understand needs to be sheltered from that fact,” Biden’s campaign said.
“So please, much as Vice President Biden would exhort you to keep the boys away from your good lookin’ daughters, keep your daughters, however they look, away from Vice President Biden.”
Biden’s campaign has also asked people not to push Biden too hard to explain why he believes Republicans will magically become easier to work with once Trump is out of office, because like all wishes it won’t come true if anyone thinks too hard about it.