Pervy breeze caught blowing up dozens of skirts
SYDNEY N.S. – Footage has emerged on social media revealing a nefarious breeze reaching up the clothing of dozens of different people to tickle or caress their bare skin without consent. A …
Studio pulls Mission: Impossible – Fallout from theatres after realizing it has the same female character as the last one
LOS ANGELES – Paramount Pictures is pulling the latest Mission: Impossible sequel from theatres and promising refunds for advanced ticket sales after concluding it was antithetical to the s…
Oh no! The Trump baby balloon learned to speak and now it’s calling Theresa May the C-word!
The good news: The Trump baby balloon, a hilarious helium blimp making a mocking caricature of Donald Trump has delighted anti-Trump protesters in London and become an all-out international sensa…
Ford announces plan to cut Toronto City Council size by killing 1 million Torontonians
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford will be reducing the number of elected municipal representatives in Toronto by culling over a million of its residents. 47 councillors for approximately …
Doug Ford screws Toronto without consent
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has implemented a plan to reduce the size of Toronto city council from 47 to 25, thus ignoring boundaries that the city has clearly established, and scre…
Seth Rogen announced as new smell of Vancouver transit
VANCOUVER – Translink announced Thursday that commuters in Metro Vancouver are in for a pleasant surprise this summer: resident Hollywood A-lister Seth Rogen has been unveiled as the offici…
Fat kid’s cannonball dive produces disappointingly small splash
CHILLIWACK, B.C. – Wearing an XXL white t-shirt to cover his portly frame, witnesses report that local fat kid, Kyle Walker, 11, known to his friends as “Tiny” attempted a sorry excuse for …
Most requested sex act of 2021 is telling straight men they’re ‘one of the good ones’
Barrie, ON – Replacing 2020’s ‘Pegging,’ studies say that the most requested sex act in North America for straight men is now telling them that they’re ‘one of the good ones.’ “Nothing gets…
You won’t believe how far into this ‘millennial homeowner’ piece it takes for us to mention their inheritance!
Canada’s housing market is booming, and so are articles about people born between 1981 and 1996 who have somehow managed to afford homes! Meet Myrna, an industrious young woman who recently paid …
Canada Council for the Arts slashes live theatre budget to fund ‘pets in hats’ Instagram accounts
OTTAWA – The Canada Council for the Arts announced a controversial new grant in hopes of branching out into new media while leaving the future of Canadian theatre uncertain. The funding pre…
