Canadian universities defend banning pro-Palestinian encampments: "We want our students to study genocide, not actually do anything about it" - The Beaverton
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Canadian universities defend banning pro-Palestinian encampments: “We want our students to study genocide, not actually do anything about it”

OTTAWA – As university students from Montreal, Toronto, and Ottawa begin protesting the genocide in with demonstrations and encampments, officials from their schools have released a series of emails and warnings stating that, although they want their students to learn about genocide, they unequivocally condemn them doing anything to stop it.

“At UofT, we believe it’s important for our students to study past genocides in lectures, and read about the history of protesters breaking the law in order to successfully stop human rights abuses,” explained vice-provost of the Sandy Welsh in an on Sunday night. “But if they so much as THINK about sitting on our nice green lawns to try to bring attention to the mass slaughter of Palestinian men, women, and , that’s crossing the line.”

In Ottawa, Eric Bercier, associate vice-president of student affairs, stated that all encampments in support of Palestine would not be tolerated, no matter how sad and genocid-ey the protest reasons were.

“Listen, if I so much as see a tent being set up on campus grounds, I’m calling the so fast you won’t even be able to say “Our university gives to corporations that fund Israeli arms firms,” he said, brandishing a phone that clearly had 911 typed in and ready to go. “Our students can learn about that stuff, whatever, that’s cool, but how dare they try to be a force for change about it!”

“There has never been a time where have eventually proved to have been on the right side of history,” he added. “Look it up in our university libraries. Just, uh, don’t look too hard, okay?”

University president Deep Saini contacted the police on Monday about the encampments on McGill grounds, despite those police observing that no crimes had been committed.

“This was a difficult decision to make,” Saini announced. “Super difficult. I would probably say it was more difficult than thinking about the genocidal crimes being perpetrated against the people my students are trying to help. Here at McGill, we value knowledge, not action. Action is scary. What if I trip over a tent?”

Image: ProudFarmerScholar