VANCOUVER – Translink announced Thursday that commuters in Metro Vancouver are in for a pleasant surprise this summer: resident Hollywood A-lister Seth Rogen has been unveiled as the official new smell of the city’s bus and skytrain lines.
Transit passengers in the lower mainland are already familiar to the heavy, oppressive musk that typically invades every pore of one’s body when riding with Translink. Especially in the summertime. Happily though, in the coming weeks, that customary odour will be augmented with the signature pot-reek/flop sweat scent that has become synonymous with Rogen’s life and career.
In a video released on Translink’s social media accounts, Rogen underlines that he’s excited to give back to his community: “I produce more body odour than perhaps any man alive on earth, and it is my duty as a Vancouver commuter to inflict it on as many innocent people as possible! HARHU HARHU HARHU HARHU.”
Like every other reeking fiend riding with Translink, Rogen will not be paid for his emissions, viewing it more as a grim public service.
“Also,” adds Rogen in closing, “They told me to say fare prices have gone up again. … And now again.”