Volunteer announces plan to build white saviour complex in Africa
TORONTO – In a well meaning attempt to uphold and reinforce neo-colonialism, volunteer Rebecca “Becky” Smith-Anderson has submitted a proposition to build a white saviour complex somewhere …
Life Hack: This woman paid off her debts entirely by switching to men’s products!
Listen up ladies, life is expensive enough. But do you ever get that sneaking suspicion that you’re paying way too much for everyday items just because you identify as female? Well then congratul…
Jason Kenney vows to sue wildfires for defaming oil industry
EDMONTON – After wildfire smoke blanketed Edmonton yesterday and forced the cancellation of what should have been a triumphant celebration of the repeal of Alberta’s carbon tax, Premier Jas…
Trump refuses to visit Canada until government destroys McCain SuperFries
OTTAWA – The Canadian government was contacted by Trump aides today, demanding the removal of all McCain products from Canadian food suppliers in order keep the American president from thin…
Andrew Scheer still hoping someone about to throw him surprise belated birthday party
OTTAWA – Andrew Scheer appeared distracted during a caucus meeting today, as sources say the Federal Conservative Leader was clearly expecting some kind of belated surprise party to celebr…
Democrats plan even more strongly-worded letter asking Trump to follow the rules please
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s press conference leaving impeachment up to Congress, House Democrats have announced they will instead send President Trump…
Ecstatic bandwagon fan says he’s always been cheering for Kevin Lowry
COBOURG, ON- Bandwagon Raptors fan Caleb Fletcher insists he has been cheering for his favourite player Kevin Lowry this whole time. “I love his passion for the game,” said Fletcher w…
Modern-day Nazi hunter thought job would be harder
VANCOUVER – Modern day Nazi hunter Jim Smith has confirmed to reporters that he honestly thought his job would take a lot more effort in 2019. Smith, who joins a long tradition of committed activ…
Alberta government lowers minimum wage for minors as part of new ‘Tiny Hands, Tiny Rights’ initiative
EDMONTON – Fulfilling their campaign pledge to strip away the rights of children, on Monday the UCP controlled legislature of Alberta passed a bill lowering the minimum wage for workers und…
Houseplant wishes you’d let it die already
TORONTO – After six long months of suffering in an unforgiving climate with insufficient sunlight and warmth, Fernice the fern desperately wishes you could understand just how much it yearn…
