MADAWASKA COUNTY, NB — As a “Community Residents of Orchard Road’s Association” meeting came to a close, Donna Trapmen finished off her final conversation of the evening by admitting she will most likely vote for Andrew Scheer right after saying a racial slur that has not been popular since the 18th Century.
“I almost asked her to repeat it”, claims community resident Domenic Tripoli. “We were having a conversation on street noise, when Donna let me know that Andrew Scheer is going to deal with all of refugees gaming the system. My mind began to wander due to rage-exhaustion, but that’s when I heard a word I’m pretty sure my great-grandfather was called in high school.”
While it’s not a surprise that Trapmen would be voting for the Conservative government in this upcoming election, it was surprising that she’d use a word that would have been really offensive if people knew what it meant. Several others in the meeting who had heard the slur had to Google it. One resident assumed it was a fantastical word created by J.R.R. Tolkien, but quickly realized that was impossible due to the context.
In the past, many neighbourhood residents had figured Trapmen could be racist due to outrage she expressed when someone brought samosas to the snack table at a previous meeting. But no one expected her racism to be so overt as to literally say a word that would have been uttered on The Nina, The Pinta, or The Santa Maria.
After Trapmen uttered the word that can be described as “something a cartoon from the 30’s would probably say”; many residents have suggested that she should no longer be invited to the community meetings. However if this step is taken, Resident Association President George Sherman has to take into account disinviting seventy percent of the men that live on Orchard Road due to their old-timey sexism.
“I hope the right steps are taken”, Continues Tripoli. “I also hope Ms. Trapmen knows I went down a real Google rabbithole trying to find out where that word came from. Apparently it’s comes from Christopher Columbus’ son being such a screwup that they derived a racial slur out his name. What a world!”
As of press time Donna Trapmen has been asked to sit out the next community meeting, and when told, was overheard muttering another word that people are pretty sure was last heard in the 1940s.