Police and provincial officials have set up roadblocks at every border exiting Alberta and turning away anyone they suspect of showing doctor-like symptoms.
“All Albertan doctors are required to follow their 10,000 day quarantine rule which requires them to stay in the province while we cap their pay during a pandemic,” announced Kenney in a press conference. “We have already started testing for those who may think they are a doctor, but we’re concerned that cases may have spread to other provinces and even the US.”
Alberta’s Health Minister is advising that if anyone has been in contact with someone with a valid medical license, they should lock them into their houses, hospitals, or private practices immediately.
Symptoms of being a doctor include wearing a stethoscope, unintelligible handwriting, and being very pissed at the UCP government.
While a cure for being a fleeing doctor is not known, the government will continue to apply the best treatment of sending Health Minister Tyler Shandro to accost every doctor he sees.