TORONTO – In solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement and in an attempt to solve racial unrest once and for all, a local white woman volunteered to try jerk chicken for the very first tim...
Disney World reopens in hopes that inevitable parental deaths will inspire future films
ORLANDO – As COVID-19 continues to surge in record numbers across Florida, Disney World made the controversial decision to reopen to the public yesterday in the hopes of gleaning story ideas from all ...
OPINION: Why don’t protesters do something useful like when I bang pots and pans for nurses?
For well over a month there has been a surge in protests in response to police brutality and anti-Black racism, and believe me, there is NOBODY who hates racism more than me. That’s why it’s so frustr...
Report: Cargo ship captain distracted by the awe-inspiring beauty of Welland
WELLAND – Two cargo ships collided in the Welland Canal after a captain was bedazzled by the sight and tremendous beauty of the City of Welland. “They call this utopia the ‘Rose City,’” said the...
Only Canadian who supports reopening US border catapulted across Detroit River
WINDSOR – The only Canadian who responded ‘yes’ to an Nanos poll on whether Canada should reopen the Canada-US border for non-essential travel has been promptly ejected from the country via cata...
Liberals desperately searching for a Liberal without ties to WE Charity
OTTAWA – As yet another Liberal, this time Finance Minister Bill Morneau, has been shown to have links to the WE Charity which was briefly awarded control of a $900 million student summer grant ...
Allow me to use my nationally syndicated column to tell you how my voice is being suppressed
By: Edgar Finkel You may have read the recent Harper’s letter in which prominent writers like Malcolm Gladwell and JK Rowling expressed a deep concern over the growing intolerance for opposing views, ...
Man who said ‘Believe All Women’ clarifies he did not mean the ones accusing him
OTTAWA – Kyle Traylor, self-proclaimed feminist, recently amended his previous claims that we should ‘Believe All Women,’ indicating that, “Yes of course we need to believe all women” but that t...
Man who records his refusal to wear a mask determined to turn local humiliation global
KINGSTON, ON – After being politely asked to comply with public health mandates to wear a mask at local establishments during a global pandemic, local man Clarence Heart pulled out his phone and...
“COVID barely kills anyone,” says man who would probably be pretty annoyed if we killed him
TORONTO – A man protesting lockdown and mask measures has made the point that very few people will actually die of COVID-19 despite the fact that he would probably be at least a little pissed if...
