Angry tweet at TTC fixes decades of underfunding
TORONTO, ON — After a twitter user wrote “@TTCHelps 8 minute wait for the subway, why do MY tax dollars go towards such a lazy incompetent organization?”, years of problems caused by …
How to keep your New Year’s Resolutions by modifying them every day
The new year is upon us, and it’s time to make a plan for keeping all those resolutions! Whether your plan was to eat better, read more, quit a bad habit or pursue a professional goal, a surefire…
Study finds that just having 5 fucking minutes to yourself outweighs all the negative effects of smoking
VANCOUVER – A study done at the University of British Columbia has found that the negative effects of smoking are completely outweighed by the benefits of just having five fucking minutes t…
New Museum exhibit shows what it would be like to see a T-Rex and a Velociraptor fuck
REGINA —- A stunning new exhibit at Saskatchewan’s Museum of Natural History has found a way to reinvigorate interest in science and delight visitors by showing them how it would look if a T-Rex …
Tories hopeful they will find ordinary, down-to-earth leader with a spare $300,000 to spend on entry fee
OTTAWA – A poll of Conservative Party members has indicated that a strong majority want a commoner relatable to all Canadians who can easily dish out $300,000 deposit for a leadership entry…
Toronto’s expensive housing market forces Harry and Meghan to consider living in Barrie
BARRIE, ON – Astronomically high housing prices in Toronto have forced Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to consider living in Barrie for their new North American home, unconfirmed reports sug…
Local actress successfully deprograms member of hereditary cult
LONDON – Meghan Markle, an actress best known for her role on the USA network series Suits is now adding another role to her CV: deprogrammer. “Extracting a cult member is notoriously diffi…
Meaghans standardize spelling of their name
TORONTO – Breaking through intense political gridlock, the Toronto Council of Me(a)g(h)ans struck a deal late last night to finally standardize the spelling of their name. “On behalf of M…
Bearded Justin Trudeau revealed to be evil doppelganger, Trustin Judeau
OTTAWA — After a post-holiday Instagram post featuring a bearded Prime Minister Justin Trudeau caused a media stir, the subject of the photo was actually revealed to be Trudeau’s evil twin,…
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