“We need to open up the economy and get back to work,” says COVID-19 - The Beaverton

“We need to open up the economy and get back to work,” says COVID-19

– Thousands of protestors took to the streets in the United States this past weekend to demand that rules end and people be allowed to return to work, including the deadly pandemic that is hoping to kill at least 100,000 people in the U.S. alone.

“We’re sick of being stuck inside, not being able to work, not being able to get our hair cut,” said the acute respiratory infection. “Clearly the so-called experts were wrong and the danger was nowhere near as bad as they told us it would be.”

“Also you know how many people my buddy the flu kills every year? We don’t shut down for him!” the virus added.

The fit in well with the other protestors as it was carrying a sign reading “Live Free or Die,” wearing a Trump 2020 t-shirt, and also infecting everyone nearby with COVID-19.

“We got a constitutional right to congregate and speak our views, no matter Nancy Pelosi has to say! Also does anyone else suddenly feel cold and hot at the same time?” said protestor Harry Grendel as the virus brushed up against him.

Despite warnings from every epidemiologist alive that the U.S. is not ready to end the lockdown, many Americans are convinced that they really really want to so shut up scientists. An opinion shared by a pandemic tired of having to infect people 1 to 1, and looking to do some mass infections asap.

The virus also added that he thinks President Donald Trump is doing a great job and should definitely keep doing those press conferences where he spreads misinformation as much as possible.