Condo developers seek help from Marginalized Community on where to gentrify next

VANCOUVER – In order to address the ongoing housing crisis, condo developers have reached out to marginalized communities in search of the next neighbourhood to gentrify. “We owe the …

5 great excuses not to hang out when you’re free all the time now and they know it

So you used to have a million excuses to get out of hanging out with your friends. But now that literally every single one of your plans are gone, and the whole planet is under house arrest, ever…

Family finally decapitates Minotaur inhabiting living room pillowfort

NELSON, B.C – All eyes were on the Galifinakis residence last Friday night as the family emerged triumphantly from their home with the severed head of the Minotaur that had been dwelling wi…

Air Canada CEO claims company is too busy firing employees to refund passengers

MONTREAL – Faced with mounting calls for the company to issue refunds to passengers whose travel was cancelled due to COVID-19 instead of just travel vouchers, Air Canada CEO Calin Rovinesc…

Awkward pause on Zoom call enters third day

VANCOUVER — Tensions are high among the management team of eGrow Marketing as an awkward pause in their Zoom meeting enters its third day. The pause began about 30 minutes into what was supposed …

It’s time to end the shutdown because infection numbers are stabilizing and I don’t understand the concept of cause and effect BY: CONRAD BLACK

The last few months have been tough on Canadians, who have been forced to endure strict lockdown measures, ostensibly to curb the spread of a deadly coronavirus. But with infection numbers stabil…

Introvert fine

HAMILTON – As COVID-19 self-isolation has taken a huge psychological toll on much of the population, local introvert Sangeeta Varma is reportedly kind of okay to be honest. Thanks to social dista…

Ford Government promises to discuss visiting family members once guidelines established for butlers, sommeliers

QUEEN’S PARK — Today Premier Ford announced his government will begin developing guidelines for when Ontarians can visit their families again, just as soon as they finish establishing rules…

Canadians celebrate isolated Victoria Day by exchanging love letters with their cousins

CALGARY – In lieu of family barbeques or trips to the lake, Canadians are observing this year’s Victoria Day by sending romantic missives to their cousins in honour of Queen Victoria’s lege…

Staring baby obviously looking for a fight

TORONTO – A fight nearly broke out on a streetcar earlier today between a fully-grown adult man and a two-month-old baby named Benjamin. Onlookers reported seeing the infant begin the fight by st…