Uh Oh! Mom listening to Joni Mitchell real loud again
PETROLIA, ON – Oh good God, here it comes. Batten the hatches and brace for impact. Local mom of three, Donna Hughes is absolutely blasting Joni Mitchell in the kitchen again. Members of th…
Saskatchewanians grab keys from Premier Moe despite his insistence that he’s sober enough to re-open province
REGINA – Responsible citizens of Saskatchewan have hid the keys on Premier Scott Moe in order to prevent him from opening up the province without a sober mind. “Don’t worry, I’ll go slow an…
Ontario beams Bat Signal into night sky to see if Batman can take a crack at vaccine rollout
TORONTO – In the wake of a disastrous vaccine rollout and an out-of-control third wave of coronavirus, desperate Ontarians have sought out leadership by beaming the Bat Signal into the nigh…
Doctor who kept telling depressed patients to see a clown finally loses license
SASKATOON – After years of criticism regarding his controversial approach to mental health, family physician Russell Wendt has lost his medical license for continually suggesting that depressed p…
Hip Gen X-er brags about his rare discontinued vaccine
Hamilton, ON – Following the announcement that Ontario will no longer be giving out first doses of the AstraZeneca vaccine, local 46 year old machinist Dwayne McEwen could be seen leaning u…
Canada’s Wonderland offers $20 souvenir photos of you getting your vaccine
VAUGHAN – Canada’s Wonderland, which is closed to the public but has been operating as a drive-thru vaccination clinic since March, has announced it is now offering souvenir photos in a lit…
Ontarians a bit shocked Ford waited 14 months to pull out the ‘blame immigrants’ playbook
TORONTO – In the wake of numerous attack ads and tweets from Ford and his team that falsely claim the third wave in Ontario was caused by the federal government’s failure to close the…
Woman who doesn’t want children afraid of never having children
BURNABY, BC – Local woman, Nadine Tarzi, speaks out about definitely not wanting children and subsequently struggling with the possibility of never actually having any children. “The idea o…
Alberta justice minister investigating federal Liberals, NDP Opposition, media for ties to JFK assassination
EDMONTON – Alberta Justice Minister Kaycee Madu has opened up an investigation into the federal Liberals, NDP Opposition and the media’s role in the 1963 assassination of US President John …
Anticipating Bill C-11, nation’s TikTok users try dancing to The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald
OTTAWA – As rumours swirl that the Liberal Government’s Bill C-11 will give the CRTC the power to restrict social media users’ posts for not having enough CanCon, the country…
