VANCOUVER – In the wake of David Suzuki being condemned for inciting violence after warning that, if politicians don’t do more to combat climate change there could be attacks on oil & gas infrastructure, local weatherman Chip Holiday was condemned by all parties for encouraging rain by indicating a thunderstorm was on the horizon.
“This incitement to rain by Chip is dangerous, and should be universally condemned,” said Alberta Premier Jason Kenney in reference to last night’s broadcast in which Chip pointed out storm clouds on the radar and then playfully quipped, “so get those umbrellas out while you’re raking leaves!”
“It is simply un-Canadian to make an almost certain to be accurate prediction about future events based on personal expertise and clear evidence.”
Thousands of Conservatives have already signed a Rebel Media backed petition demanding the local news station fire Chip, and promise to never have any kind of weather predicting on their newscast again.
“If the weather reporter does anything beyond saying exactly what the weather is like right now, then they are making the weather to do something it may otherwise not do.”
In related news a firefighter had been suspended for inciting fire by warning a couple that their outlets were not grounded.