Woman with death wish shares opinion on Twitter
SASKATOON, SK – Local woman Audrey Cortland has boldly dared to voice an opinion on Twitter, because apparently she has a fucking death wish. “This past year has been incredibly difficult for eve…
“At least the prequels were bad” argues confused Star Wars fan not knowing what he wants anymore
RED DEER, MB – Local Star Wars fan Geoff Stirling, 37, has written a recent article online arguing that he himself doesn’t know what he’d like to argue about Star Wars. “It’s just nice to f…
First Bitcoin ETF will combine simplicity of cryptocurrency with integrity of investment stocks
TORONTO – North America’s first Bitcoin exchange-traded fund opened this week on the Toronto Stock Exchange amidst skyrocketing cryptocurrency values. This new ETF spearheaded by Purpose In…
This baby born in quarantine is 38 now
TORONTO – Local baby, Richard Henderson, born shortly after the first Ontario COVID-19 shutdown, just celebrated his 38th birthday. Henderson, who now suffers from male pattern baldness and…
Mars rover fined for non-essential travel
SACRAMENTO, CA – California Governor Gavin Newsom announced yesterday that the Mars Rover, Perseverance, was going to have to pay a significant fine for breaking the COVID-19 rules on non-e…
Ted Cruz latest Canadian politician caught fleeing to Mexico
Cancun, Mexico – Ted Cruz has joined the ranks of other Canadian politicians fleeing the country when things get rough. The Canadian politician, who is an avid denier of climate change, fle…
Ominous ‘Family Meeting’ invite implies someone either died or wants to play Scrabble
MEDICINE HAT, AB – A vague Google Calendar invite has left Emily Kidd worried that her family has either suffered a horrible tragedy or, even worse, wants to spend the whole evening playing Scrab…
OPINION: The only thing better than a good comic book movie is watching different recuts of a bad comic book movie over and over again until I die
By Zack Snyder I’m what you might call a renaissance man. I love comics and movies, so much so that I insist on drawing the entire third act of all of my comic films digitally in post. Good comic…
Nation grateful Rush Limbaugh lived long enough to see Trump lose
OTTAWA – The nation mourned the passing of legendary broadcaster and Conservative provocateur Rush Limbaugh today, but took some comfort in the fact that he saw the human embodiment of his …
Rush Limbaugh slams Satan for his liberal bias
ETERNAL FLAMING REALM OF HELL – Having recently passed away from lung cancer, Rush Limbaugh, upon arriving in Satan’s land of eternal punishment, immediately lambasted the Prince of D…
