Air Canada reconvenes meeting of the Four Elemental Canadas

MONTREAL – Air Canada, Canada’s largest airline by fleet size, summoned its elemental brethren to the Four Seasons Hotel Montreal this week for their annual meeting to discuss the affairs o…

Local man returns cloud for refund after silver lining turns out to be stainless steel

Just Outside of HOPE, BC ― Local third-grade teacher Jude Thompson was reimbursed for a cloud this week, after he discovered that the dark mass of suspended water droplets, given to him by his pa…

Look who’s joining the cast of season 2 of Bridgerton: the Ask Jeeves butler

HOLLYWOOD – The season 2 cast of the Netflix breakout show Bridgerton has been released, announcing new comer: the Ask Jeeves Butler. Best known for his work as the gentleman’s gentle…

Renaissance fair cancelled due to supply chain mail issues

HALIFAX – After months of ye olde stocking issues, Halifax Annual Renaissance Faireth has proclaimed the event will be cancelled due to insurmountable supply chain mail issues. The yearly g…

Local cat gets his best ideas at 3am

ST. JOHN’S, NF — Local cat Barney Gabriel Boudreault has shared that he gets his best ideas at three o’clock in the morning. “They say an artist can’t afford to wait around for inspiration,…

FreshCo and Food Basics announce they are actually two different places

MISSISSAUGA/TORONTO – The discount grocery store chains FreshCo and Food Basics have released a joint statement stating unequivocally that they are two different grocery stores, and not the…

Ford asks his daughter to ask her anti-vaxx friends to get out of the driveway

ETOBICOKE – After being forced to live at his cottage in Muskoka because access to his house is blocked, Doug Ford asked his daughter, Krista Haynes, if she and her anti-vaxx friends could …

Heartwarming: this TTC ad shows 100 years worth of TTC delays

TORONTO – The TTC have launched a nostalgic campaign in Toronto to celebrate their centennial year by featuring 100 years worth of TTC delays. “Having carried more than 31 billion customers…

Vaccine passport wasted on Mr. Sub

WATERLOO — In what many are calling a “total waste,” 31-year-old Aaron Berger was seen using his recently-acquired vaccine passport to dine in at a Mr. Sub franchise Tuesday afternoon. “It’…

Doug Ford’s Ontario revealed to be alternate universe shown to suicidal man by Christmas angel

QUEEN’S PARK – Reports indicate that dire circumstances throughout Doug Ford’s Ontario are actually due to it being a fantastical alternate reality, created by a Christmas angel in order to…