Plastic bag added to bag of plastic bags destined to one day be added to larger bag of plastic bags
CALGARY – According to sources in the Ross household, a plastic bag from this morning’s outing to the grocery store has been stuffed into a larger plastic bag full of plastic bags. “I should real…
Liberals announce plans to continue announcing plans to, one day, cut emission rates
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau’s Liberals have announced their latest announcement to announce that at some point they will actually announce how they will cut Canada’s emission rates.…
Opinion: this hockey game would be so much better if they just kissed already
By: Chad “The Bear” Powell Oh man! This hockey game is the best thing ever! Goals! Hotdogs! Sitting in the stands cheering! AW SHIT! Are you seeing that? Those all stars are brawling like animals…
Hybrid work model feels more like an indica
BURLINGTON — Following the introduction of a back-to-work schedule that requires staff to be in the office three days a week, employees at local startup Spinjack Digital say the new hybrid model …
Poilievre counters “obnoxious nerd” image by revealing he’s into bitcoin
OTTAWA – In order to combat his well-known public image as an “insufferable know-it-all geek”, Conservative leadership hopeful Pierre Poilievre has revealed that he is also very into crypto…
Conservatives say Trudeau will be defeated like all other dictators: in an election
OTTAWA – Having repeatedly called PM Justin Trudeau a dictator comparable to Vladimir Putin, the Conservative Party is vowing to stop him the same way freedom loving people have stopped all…
NHL refs an inspiration to millions who would love to get paid for not doing their job
TORONTO – Usually it’s the hockey players that are praised for inspiring people. But today people are taking time to praise the unsung heroes of the game, the refs, for letting them k…
Peaches vow to use your face as butt emoji
NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE – Thousands of peaches rolled down Queen Street to protest their famous emoji, which they claim is a lewd depiction of their community. Demonstrators held signs with the…
Oscars pledge to have more diversity in styles of fighting at next year’s ceremony
Los Angeles, CA – After receiving heavy criticism for a lack of diversity at this year’s ceremonies, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has pledged to include a larger variety …
Local woman apologizes for doing job correctly
VICTORIA, BC – A local woman is grappling with a bad habit she can’t seem to shake: apologizing for doing her job correctly. “See, the problem was I organized the reports by invoice number …
