QUEBEC CITY – The government of Quebec has passed a new law banning the Niqab as a way to prove that their brand of racism is unique and independent from the racism prevalent in the rest of…
Nation could really use Gord Downie’s songwriting to help them process Gord Downie’s death
KINGSTON – Waking up to the news of Gord Downie’s death, the nation was forced to confront the fact that the only thing that could help them deal with this tragedy would be a moving b…
CRA to impose 40% tax on short, fleeting moments when retail workers feel alive
OTTAWA – In a document posted on its website Canada Revenue Agency has announced that, moving forward, all of the country’s retail workers will be required to give the government 40% of the…
Courageous actors speak out against Harvey Weinstein now that he can’t affect their careers
HOLLYWOOD – Showing the fortitude the entertainment industry is known for, numerous actors have come forward to condemn accused sexual predator Harvey Weinstein now that he has no power to …
America terrified newly released O.J. Simpson will steal memorabilia again
L.A. – Americans from coast to coast are reporting a deep fear that infamous criminal Orenthal James (O.J.) Simpson will once again commit the deed for which he is most known: breaking into…
Duolingo app keeps telling people to kill in multiple languages
SILICON VALLEY – Popular languages app duolingo has begun using its friendly, interactive interface to instruct millions of people trying to improve their second language to commit brutal, …
Justin Trudeau UN speech hailed as ‘not Donald Trump’s UN speech’
NEW YORK CITY – Justin Trudeau once again shone on the international stage this afternoon after giving a speech to the UN General Assembly that critics and supporters agree was not Donald T…
TTC announces fare hike to pay for more ‘best transit system’ decals
TORONTO – Still basking in the glow of winning best transit system in North America last year, the TTC has announced they will be raising adult fares from 3.25 to 3.50 in order to buy more …
Andrew Scheer refuses to remove Lynn Beyak from caucus until she says something he doesn’t secretly agree with
OTTAWA – Under pressure to remove controversial Senator Lynn Beyak from the Conservative Caucus, leader of the opposition Andrew Scheer has promised to do so the second Beyak says something…
Guy you played summer hockey with in 2005 has some thoughts on your anti-nazi facebook post
Orangeville, ON – Sources are indicating that Steve, one of the guys who played on a Summer Hockey team with you for three months back in 2005, disagrees with your facebook post condemning …
