My uncle Doug Ford and I have been getting a lot of flak online for my recent appointment as Ontario Minister of Multiculturism and I don’t think it’s fair, not one bit. What people don’t seem to…
Witnesses confirm sighting of mythical Steven Del Duca
ALGONQUIN PARK – Two hikers who had become lost while trekking back to their campsite in Algonquin Park this Saturday were astonished to observe what is now the first confirmed sighting of the el…
Experts admit world just going to have to learn to live with seasonal outbreaks of Vladimir Putin
GENEVA – In a long expected admission by assembled health and safety representatives, citizens of countries across the world have been informed that we are all just going to have to endure regula…
Florida introduces ‘Don’t Say Science’ Bill
TALLAHASSEE, FL – Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida is now the highest ranking state politician to voice his endorsement of Bill 467 – the ‘Don’t Say Science’ bill. “I couldn’t be prouder of our l…
100% of Canadians pretty sure they’ve had COVID already
OTTAWA – Health Canada has released the results of a national survey over the past week which confirms expert suspicions that every person in the country is confident they’ve already caught COVID…
I know there’s a lot going on right now but would you mind watching this Kony2012 video super quick
Hey fellow members of the social media universe! I’m coming atcha with a really important message that none of us can risk ignoring. And while I know there’s a lot of wild happenings competing fo…
Man who just took bite out of scalding hot pizza going to ride this thing out until the bitter end
FREDERICTON – Recent reports have now confirmed that Tony Freedman, a local man who took an initial bite of incredibly hot pizza moments ago, plans to just keep that bite in his mouth until it’s …
“Husky” boy knows exactly what that word means, thank you very much
SUDBURY, ON – Corey Ashford, a local 13 year-old-boy commonly referred to by friends and family as “husky”, has announced that he understands perfectly well what that word really means and does n…
Serial Killer hoping to continue working remotely at least part time
HILLSIDE FALLS – Local serial killer, Stanley “The Hillside Reaper” Chisolm, has reported experiencing mixed emotions regarding the reopening of workplaces, hoping to maintain work-from-home for …
Trudeau wistful for past elections when he was just caught wearing blackface
OTTAWA – Sources report that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has sunk into a bout of profound melancholy due to the conflux of COVID, Afghanistan, China, and unpredictable Conservative support, voc…