GUANTANAMO BAY – The US Defense Department is praising its own prison system after a former child soldier imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay became a multi-millionaire yesterday when the Supreme …
Hundreds still waiting in line for Parliament Hill’s Canada Day celebrations
OTTAWA – As many returned to work today in Canada’s capital, hundreds more were still patiently waiting in line to check out the Canada 150 celebrations on Parliament Hill three days after …
Albertans erect ‘forgotten province’ memorial in wake of Trudeau’s Canada 150 address
EDMONTON – Ensuring that the province will never forget how they were forgotten in a celebratory sesquicentennial speech by the Prime Minister, Albertans have erected a large monument in Ed…
Snowbird pilot grounded after skywriting profanity
MOOSE JAW, SK – A pilot for Canada’s famed aerial demonstration team has been grounded for a week after skywriting a profanity that outraged some locals. The incident occurred during a rout…
Trudeau writes ‘Alberta’ on hand so he doesn’t forget province in next speech
OTTAWA – After forgetting to mention the province while listing all of the others in his Canada 150 address to the nation, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has jotted down ‘Alberta’ on his lef…
Fire truck in Canada Day parade desperately trying to get to actual fire
WAINFLEET, ON – A small town’s only fire truck was trapped in a local Canada Day Parade as it attempted to respond to a fire that was sparked at a nearby business. Volunteer firefighters go…
Counter-protesters to First Nations tepee on Parliament Hill set up traditional suburb
OTTAWA – Counter-protesters have erected a traditional sprawling suburb on Parliament Hill in response to a group of grassroots indigenous activists who set up a tepee for the Canada 150 ce…
Report: Girlfriend has weirdly shaped measuring cup
PORT PERRY, ON – Early reports indicate that Nick Wincenty’s common-law partner, Tracey Miriana, has small, silicone measuring cup for some unknown purpose. Wincenty made the perplexing dis…
Firefighters use Jaws of Life to extract Christy Clark from BC Premiership
VICTORIA – Firefighters were called to the BC Legislature this afternoon to extract Liberal leader Christy Clark, who chained herself to the Premier’s desk and refused to leave until her Li…
Loose cannon health inspector asked to hand in his digital thermometer
CAMROSE, AB – A renegade public health inspector who is known for bending the rules to get the bottom of his cases has been asked to hand in his badge and digital thermometer by his superio…
