TORONTO – 32-year-old Kyle Dubas has accepted a temporary gig as General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs hoping to gain some valuable experience before he moves on to a more successful t…
Jagmeet Singh suspends entire NDP caucus to be safe
OTTAWA – NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh has announced that he is suspending all of his MPs as a precaution in the event that more members of his caucus are accused of harassment or other forms of…
Trump announces re-launch of Iranian nuclear weapons program
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump has announced that he will be re-launching Iran’s stalled nuclear weapons program after years of very little progress. “Iran deserves another shot at …
Alberta’s Conservatives call for schools to inform parents if students watched RuPaul’s Drag Race
RED DEER, AB – The United Conservative Party of Alberta held a policy convention last weekend which passed a resolution that will require all of the province’s schools to inform paren…
Swarm of midges covers shift for absent patio server
KINGSTON – A throng of midges hovering over a bar’s patio were pressed into service last night serving thirsty customers after a waitress missed her shift. The Leviathan of small insects ha…
York University adds year to every program for mandatory “strike internships”
TORONTO – York University students from all faculties will be required to take an additional year of study for the recently announced strike internship program. The program is unique to Yor…
Man suddenly cares about homeless, veterans after hearing about Canada’s humanitarian aid to Syria
SUDBURY, ON – Upon learning that the federal government is sending $840 million worth of humanitarian assistance to war-torn Syria, local man Brian Meilleur expressed a sudden interest and …
Oops! Netanyahu accidentally revealed Israel’s secret nuclear arsenal instead of evidence on Iran’s program
There was a big mix-up in Israel yesterday after the Prime Minister’s theatrical presentation on Iran’s super secret nuclear threat featured intelligence reports and images of Israel’s super secr…
Chimpanzee election for alpha-male marred by accusations of feces-throwing
GOMBE STREAM NATIONAL PARK, TZ – A troop election for the new alpha-male has turned sour after both campaign teams have accused the other of feces-throwing and biting. “This is a desperate …
RCMP issues stern warning for Incel chat groups to report all Islamist extremism
OTTAWA – The Mounties are taking a new approach on combating Islamist extremism by calling upon members of the incel community to report anything they see online that calls for Islamist-rel…
