OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has reminded Canadians still warring with Americans in a conflict that ended over 200 years ago to lay down their arms to appease US President Donald …
G7 Meeting: Putin’s envoy calls Trudeau ‘very dishonest and weak’ on US tariffs
LA MALBAIE, QC – Russia’s diplomatic envoy Donald Trump expressed his frustrations to Twitter to call Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on tariffs on US products. The Russian represent…
Inspiration: Young drug dealer dreaming of becoming premier finally has a role model
MARKHAM – The election of Doug Ford as Ontario’s premier has become an inspiration for many young drug traffickers who now have the ambition to pursue public office one day. Despite all the…
Middle-aged men storm the television sets of the nation for D-Day documentaries
OTTAWA – Over one million middle-aged men will attempt to establish a foothold on couches and chairs across the country to witness the events of the D-Day landings as told through historica…
VIA Rail installs longer station platform for star-crossed lovers to chase train
MONTREAL – VIA Rail will be extending all of its station platforms in order to accommodate any lovers who want a few more fleeting moments saying goodbye to their soulmates by chasing the t…
Canada considers tariffs on US canned water
OTTAWA – As a retaliation in an escalating trade war between the US and the rest of the world, Canada is considering placing a 25% tariff on all American canned and glass bottled water incl…
Rachel Notley eats raw bitumen to show the world it’s safe
EDMONTON – Fresh off the Trans Mountain pipeline nationalization announcement, a confident Alberta Premier has reassured the world that undiluted bitumen is completely safe by eating some o…
Airliner permits woman’s comfort whale onto plane
VANCOUVER – An Air Canada spokesperson has confirmed that a Vancouver woman has been allowed to take her comfort humpback whale onto an international flight from Vancouver to Hawaii. A pass…
Poll: Majority of Ontarians somewhat creeped out with Doug Ford calling them ‘friends’
TORONTO – A new Ekos Research poll has revealed that a majority of Ontarians find it somewhat weird or very weird that Doug Ford keeps calling them friends despite not having a friendship. …
