MONTREAL – VIA Rail will be extending all of its station platforms in order to accommodate any lovers who want a few more fleeting moments saying goodbye to their soulmates by chasing the train.
An additional 50 m of concrete will be added for fellow passengers and visitors to watch extended heartbreaking scenes of a fate so cruel.
“The terminal extension will allow star-crossed lovers to stare into each other’s’ eyes for one last time for roughly 5-7 seconds longer compared to our platforms’ current length,” said VIA Rail representative Francine Nadeau. “This will give more time to pass a letter that will explain he will be waiting for her if she ever comes back, or throw a sentimental locket that she will look inside years later consoling her heavy heart.”
VIA Rail emphasized that all doleful runners professing their everlasting love should jog at a light pace as the fleet of trains are quite slow.
Those lamenting their doomed relationships will also be given more time to wonder if they really are making a mistake by moving away for a job in Toronto or relocating to take care of an ailing parent with VIA’s new Delayed Train System, added Nadeau.
“We’ll give out 2-3 hours additional waiting hours to all passengers at random, so nothing has really changed with our current schedule,” added Nadeau.
