OTTAWA – Over one million middle-aged men will attempt to establish a foothold on couches and chairs across the country to witness the events of the D-Day landings as told through historical documentaries.
The greying men will begin operations at 1900 hrs turning their broadcast devices to History, H2, Discovery, the Smithsonian Channel, and Military History by seizing the remote or computer from any hostile family members.
“We are about to embark on a Great Crusade of at least two hours of black-and-white film footage, interactive maps with arrows on them, and interviews with military historians,” explained Chuck Harrison, 58. “This is truly our greatest moment since we watched a similar documentary on the world’s largest amphibious landing last year.”
The international effort includes the 4th Canadian Balding Brigade, the 1st US Stubborn Old Crank Division, and the Royal ‘Get A Real Job’ Light Infantry from the UK.
The sacrifices made by some of these men are real as they may opt to stay up past 11 PM to watch ‘The Longest Day’ starring John Wayne and Henry Fonda on Turner Classic Movies.