EDMONTON – People invited to the Katie Carmichael-Chris Everett wedding were horrified to discover that the invitations featured lightsabers and X-Wings. “Jesus Christ, it says ‘Come celebrate a …
Tag: wedding
Couple goes ahead with wedding despite pretty big sign from God
LONDON – After 2 years of dating, local couple Lauren and Travis May celebrated their undying love for each other by tying the knot despite the fairly obvious and extremely large sign from God t…
Local friends get engaged just to spite you
OTTAWA – Your friends Daryl Hoover and Cheyenne Klein, who have spent all quarantine posting pictures of each other on social media, have decided to get engaged as a vengeful move against y…
Ford announces all large weddings must now take place in classrooms
TORONTO – Amid concerns over rising coronavirus cases in Ontario, Doug Ford tightened social gathering limits in hotspot areas in order to stem the spread of the virus. As a result of the new num…
Racist facebook friend got married
Kitchener, ON – Reports from your facebook account indicate that Mitch, a guy you once met on a camping trip and who has been posting increasingly racist memes for several years now, recent…
Optimistic woman only burns June pages of 2020 planner
TORONTO – As provincial governments are taking slow and measured steps towards loosening social distancing regulations, 26 year-old Montana Tremeshko destroyed only the June pages of her 20…
QUIZ: We should totally grab a coffee sometime! When are you free?
Oh my god, HEY! It’s me, your friend from university! Wow, I can’t believe I ran into you here on the street, of all places! What a crazy coincidence! We haven’t seen each other in, what, five ye…
Wedding attendee upset that there weren’t more pictures of her
KAMLOOPS BC – A disgruntled guest of Marsha and Graham Staedler’s wedding filed a complaint in regards to the lack of pictures taken of her last weekend. “I mean it’s ridiculous…
Son finds dad’s stash of old hardcore police chase videos
VANCOUVER – Yesterday evening, twelve year old Dylan Kitchener got more than he bargained for while rummaging through his parent’s closet. The impressionable youth stumbled upon a car…
Friend has the balls to schedule wedding on long weekend
London, ON – Reports from the area have indicated that local man Steve Marchand had the sheer audacity to hold his wedding to Lisa Braxton on the Saturday of the August long weekend. “The b…