TORONTO – As provincial governments are taking slow and measured steps towards loosening social distancing regulations, 26 year-old Montana Tremeshko destroyed only the June pages of her 20…
Tag: wedding
QUIZ: We should totally grab a coffee sometime! When are you free?
Oh my god, HEY! It’s me, your friend from university! Wow, I can’t believe I ran into you here on the street, of all places! What a crazy coincidence! We haven’t seen each other in, what, five ye…
Wedding attendee upset that there weren’t more pictures of her
KAMLOOPS BC – A disgruntled guest of Marsha and Graham Staedler’s wedding filed a complaint in regards to the lack of pictures taken of her last weekend. “I mean it’s ridiculous…
Son finds dad’s stash of old hardcore police chase videos
VANCOUVER – Yesterday evening, twelve year old Dylan Kitchener got more than he bargained for while rummaging through his parent’s closet. The impressionable youth stumbled upon a car…
Friend has the balls to schedule wedding on long weekend
London, ON – Reports from the area have indicated that local man Steve Marchand had the sheer audacity to hold his wedding to Lisa Braxton on the Saturday of the August long weekend. “The b…
Wedding planner suggests barn
KINGSTON – The longstanding puzzle of where to hold the upcoming wedding of a Kingston couple was valiantly solved by local wedding planner, Suzanne Albright, who bravely saved the day by suggest…
Common law couple decides to get married after running out of matching plates
VICTORIA, BC – Despite having lived as a common law couple for the past 10 years, Ahmad Najdi and Claire Liu were compelled to begin the wedding planning process when they noticed that they…
Health Canada suggests limiting alcohol to 2 drinks per day unless you’ve already had 3 in which case fuck it
OTTAWA—Health Canada has released new guidelines emphasizing the importance of consuming no more than 2 alcoholic units per day, but only if you haven’t had more than that, because if you have, t…
Friends celebrate after couple reposts wedding photos for third time
YOUR FACEBOOK FEED – The Internet is abuzz with ‘likes’ and ‘hearts’ after beloved married people, Jennifer and Richard Wilkinson, posted their black and white wedding photos yet again. “Sure the…
Quiz: Should you have a wedding band, a DJ, or a screaming ghost?
Your big day is coming up soon! So many things to plan, from the food, to the cocktails, to the clothes. But don’t skimp on one important detail—the entertainment! Hiring a wedding band is a sure…