By Oscar Barnes, Grade 2 Hi! The calendar is flipping to January, and if you love great movies, that means one thing: It’s time to start thinking about Oscar! Because he is hosting a birthday par…
Tag: Oscars
Ellen DeGeneres and George W. Bush bravely find common ground as rich white people
DALLAS, TX – Comedian and LGBTQ+ icon Ellen DeGeneres was seen with former President George W. Bush at a football game this past weekend. Following the backlash, DeGeneres responded by brav…
Lone actress in war drama proud to represent only woman who participated in WWII
LOS ANGELES – Oscar-winning actress Catherine Lynette was honoured to play the only woman in a cast of 50 in a dramatic new film about World War II, War Hath No Fury. “They asked me to read…
‘I won my office Oscars pool’ brags man with not much going on
SASKATOON – Reports indicate local man Jeremy Huang has spent most of the day bragging that he correctly guessed the winners of 20 out of 24 Oscars categories last night. Huang announced his vict…
Billy Crystal stages coup in attempt to take over hosting Oscars
HOLLYWOOD – Unwilling to accept a hostless ceremony, nine time Oscar host Billy Crystal has staged a coup to take control over the event. “How dare they!” screamed Crystal as he led a milit…
Experts predict Black Panther and BlacKkKlansman will lose Best Picture to the one about a white guy who had a black friend once
LOS ANGELES – Following the recent announcement of the nominees for the Academy Awards, entertainment industry experts and Las Vegas oddsmakers agree that Black Panther and BlacKkKlansman a…
Scarlett Johansson’s portrayal of trans man considered frontrunner for Best Actress at 2014 Oscars
HOLLYWOOD – The controversial casting of Scarlett Johansson as a trans man in the film Rub & Tug has placed her as the favourite to win the Best Actress award at the 2014 Academy Awards…
The Shape of Water wins Oscar for best obscuring of a Canadian filming location
LOS ANGELES – Guillermo del Toro’s Toronto shot monster love epic The Shape of Water has won the academy award for the production that best hid the fact that it was shot in Toronto. “We are…
Local man accidentally misses Oscars after not giving a shit
HALIFAX – This morning, local man, Robert Murray was shocked to discover he had mistakenly neglected to watch Hollywood’s biggest event last night because, fuck it. “Oh, I guess I did”, remarked …