In this day and age, thanks to inadequate firearms laws in many nations, we face danger from gun violence that is greater than ever before. But some of us, rather than falling back on useless pla…
Tag: Featured Post
Documents reveal anti-vaccination Facebook groups funded by ‘Big Child Coffin’
WASHINGTON DC – Exposing greedy corporate propaganda, an industry watchdog group has obtained leaked internal documents that demonstrate a direct connection between popular anti-vaccination…
Alberta election called, voters face stark choice between environmental devastation and environmental devastation with slightly better schools
CALGARY – Premier Rachel Notley has announced the Alberta provincial election will take place on April 16, tasking Albertans with choosing between a party promising to destroy the environme…
SNC-Lavalin employee retires
OTTAWA – After 38 years of loyal service, a long-time SNC-Lavalin employee has announced he is punching the clock for the last time. Michael Wernick, government relations coordinator for th…
Ford government increases high school class size to reduce learning
TORONTO – Education minister Lisa Thompson recently announced that class sizes for grade four and above will increase from 22 to 28 students, resulting in a 4% reduction in costs, and 8% re…
JK Rowling reveals Harry Potter voted against Brexit
EDINBURGH – Continuing her trend of making proclamations about her characters’ personal lives, Harry Potter author JK Rowling announced this week that her titular boy wizard voted “remain” in the…
Scientists posit existence of universe where you can nap and not feel like hot garbage afterwards
TORONTO – In a recent breakthrough, a team of scientists at the University of Toronto have posited the reality of a parallel universe where naps don’t make an individual feel like a disgust…
“Stupid comic book nerds,” says man who can name every Patriots player from the last 60 years
Hamilton, ON – Local sports enthusiast Jim Clement was overheard last week laughing about how comic book fans are nothing but a bunch of “obsessive nerds who need lives,” after having a len…
‘They’re heroes,’ says man who called former cabinet ministers unqualified diversity hires two months ago
OTTAWA – Early reports indicate that local partisan Bruce Thompson has had a sudden embrace of former cabinet ministers Jody Wilson-Raybould and Jane Philpott after years of calling them sh…
Local man starting to suspect it’s too late to ask what Brexit is
Brandon, MB – Local man Steven Bach is getting the feeling that the time to figure out what Brexit actually is has long since passed. “I saw on the news that the UK government might fall du…
